Really Struggling

[Orchaid Lover]

Hi,
I've been a member of the forum for a while but I haven't been on in awhile. So last winter I tried to commit suicide. Long story short, a friend saved me and I spent time in a hospital and got some help. I'm still really struggling though. I thought having my family know would make it easier to cope, so I wouldn't have to hide it anymore, but my family avoids the subject and I'm too afraid to bring it up because when I first got home after the attempt my mother was... It wasn't a safe place at home for me for awhile.
I have a really hard time talking to my therapist because it's difficult for me to open up to anyone. They put me on medication but it doesn't really help. So I've been having thoughts of suicide again and I don't have anyone that I feel safe talking to about it. I don't really know how to cope with the reasons behind my depression and I'm having trouble dealing with the depression.
And I just want to know how you do it. How do you handle feeling so alone because no one around you sees how bad things are for you? I guess I'm just posting this because I'm tired of feeling this lonely and I don't want to let myself get back to a place where I would rather just call it quits instead of trying to get to a good place emotionally.

[Clayjars]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you are hurting so much. I know how hard that can be, especially when you feel isolated and alone. You mentioned that people around you don't notice how hard things are for you. Is this because you don't tell them what you are going through or just because they don't care about you? Sometimes people don't know what you are going through unless you tell them. Maybe you seem okay outwardly although you are dying on the inside. Do you think this is b/c you are having a hard time opening up to others? So they just don't know?