Feeling hopeless
Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 8:46 pm
I'm a 45 year old woman. Married for 22 years. We have 2 children our 15 year old son is autistic and intellectually impaired. Our 19 year old daughter suffered from terrible seizures at age 7 which left her with a brain injury
I have suffered with depression and anxiety my entire adult life. Have tried too many meds to remember all of them and have seen different providers for help. I have had a couple of major depressive episodes that have lasted for months up to a year. In those times I really don't know how I survived. I am currently falling fast into a major depression with unbearable anxiety. I don't know how much more I can take. I go to bed every night just to wake up feeling the same...often worse than the day before. I'm just tired. I ana nurse have been for 23 years. I recently cut my hours down from 36 to 24 because I just can't do it. That alone makes me feel like a failure and a disappointment...I know it's a big financial hit for us. There is obvious stress just with our kids alone daily. It's very hard. I'm sinking. I would like to go to sleep and not wake up for awhile just to get a break from this relentless pain that is my life.
I often think of what would become of my family if I were gone. Would they be okay? Probably not it would just destroy my daughter and my son wouldn't understand. I'm just at the end of my rope. This has been so many years of just crippling anxiety aND depression . I am suppose to work tomorrow for the life of me I don't know how I'm going to manage that. I can't take much more.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety my entire adult life. Have tried too many meds to remember all of them and have seen different providers for help. I have had a couple of major depressive episodes that have lasted for months up to a year. In those times I really don't know how I survived. I am currently falling fast into a major depression with unbearable anxiety. I don't know how much more I can take. I go to bed every night just to wake up feeling the same...often worse than the day before. I'm just tired. I ana nurse have been for 23 years. I recently cut my hours down from 36 to 24 because I just can't do it. That alone makes me feel like a failure and a disappointment...I know it's a big financial hit for us. There is obvious stress just with our kids alone daily. It's very hard. I'm sinking. I would like to go to sleep and not wake up for awhile just to get a break from this relentless pain that is my life.
I often think of what would become of my family if I were gone. Would they be okay? Probably not it would just destroy my daughter and my son wouldn't understand. I'm just at the end of my rope. This has been so many years of just crippling anxiety aND depression . I am suppose to work tomorrow for the life of me I don't know how I'm going to manage that. I can't take much more.