Depression after surgery
Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 5:15 pm
Hi everyone, I am new here. I have read some posts and it brings me some comfort to see I am not alone even if it is virtual company.
Depression and anxiety are not new to me. I've had it since I was 11. However the past few days have almost been unbearable. It would take a novel to tell my whole life story so I am going to stick with what is going on right now.
I'm a 42 year old woman who has not been in a committed relationship since I was 21. I have no kids. I do have job that allows me to pay my bills and live somewhat comfortably. I do not have a lot people to turn to in a time of need. I have severed ties with so many people that I can't count. A lot of this has to do with my own insecurities and social anxiety. I was bullied a lot in middle school and bullied at home by own older brother and mentally immature mother. My dad was also abusive emotionally and would sometimes beat me. My parents are immigrants and I have no relatives in my country of canada. I've never felt I belong anywhere. Ok I haven't even gotten to the point yet but wanted to give some background info.
Last Monday I had an ACL surgery on my right knee leaving me unable to get around for a maximum of 6 weeks. I had no one to ask for help other then my parents who I don't really get along with. They agreed to help until I can get around again. I've stayed with them since the surgery. I seemed fine until this past Sunday. On Sunday I just started bawling and bawling. I am still crying today. I don't know if it has to do with Percocets the doc gave me but I can't remember feeling this horrible for years. My goes to the past a lot thinking about people that are no longer part of my life. I sent a heartfelt msg yesterday to someone I was close to in my University days and he hasn't replied. I have reaching out to so many people almost grasping at straws. Suicide has entered my mind on more than one occasion.
When I look up the people in my past many seem so successful and happy and have significant others. More than jealousy I am heartbroken and disappointed in myself for not getting my life together.
I am on paxil and it usually levels my moods but it doesn't appear to be working now. Also I am now out of the Percocets so I I'll in a couple of days if they were part of the problem. Staying in another city with my parents probably is the best for me either though they have been tolerable. Everything is making me cry and I am also anxious about getting back to work after 2 weeks off.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can calm down and find some peace?
Depression and anxiety are not new to me. I've had it since I was 11. However the past few days have almost been unbearable. It would take a novel to tell my whole life story so I am going to stick with what is going on right now.
I'm a 42 year old woman who has not been in a committed relationship since I was 21. I have no kids. I do have job that allows me to pay my bills and live somewhat comfortably. I do not have a lot people to turn to in a time of need. I have severed ties with so many people that I can't count. A lot of this has to do with my own insecurities and social anxiety. I was bullied a lot in middle school and bullied at home by own older brother and mentally immature mother. My dad was also abusive emotionally and would sometimes beat me. My parents are immigrants and I have no relatives in my country of canada. I've never felt I belong anywhere. Ok I haven't even gotten to the point yet but wanted to give some background info.
Last Monday I had an ACL surgery on my right knee leaving me unable to get around for a maximum of 6 weeks. I had no one to ask for help other then my parents who I don't really get along with. They agreed to help until I can get around again. I've stayed with them since the surgery. I seemed fine until this past Sunday. On Sunday I just started bawling and bawling. I am still crying today. I don't know if it has to do with Percocets the doc gave me but I can't remember feeling this horrible for years. My goes to the past a lot thinking about people that are no longer part of my life. I sent a heartfelt msg yesterday to someone I was close to in my University days and he hasn't replied. I have reaching out to so many people almost grasping at straws. Suicide has entered my mind on more than one occasion.
When I look up the people in my past many seem so successful and happy and have significant others. More than jealousy I am heartbroken and disappointed in myself for not getting my life together.
I am on paxil and it usually levels my moods but it doesn't appear to be working now. Also I am now out of the Percocets so I I'll in a couple of days if they were part of the problem. Staying in another city with my parents probably is the best for me either though they have been tolerable. Everything is making me cry and I am also anxious about getting back to work after 2 weeks off.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can calm down and find some peace?