Hi welcome to the forms.
Please don't feel any of this is your fault. You have gone through a really difficult time. You need people around you and support.
Have you thought about attending a group for those who been through what you had. Victim Support Group? That sort of thing.
I would consider you get some sort of help. Maybe counselling will benefit you.
Also were here anytime you need someone. I don't know if you live in UK or Ireland but you can call The Smartians for free on there number. You can find them online. They help those who are going through difficult and stressful time. They can listen to you and help.
I hope that helps and good luck.
