Depression Understood Forums

Hello. I'm currently in my third year in engineering and am dealing with a crisis which is getting worse by the day. Everyone thinks I'm in a romantic relationship with a boy. I care for him a lot and support him because he has just had a tragedy in his family and he could open up only to me about it and we became best friends thereafter. We know each other inside out. But ever since I have been sitting with him in class, my other friends slowly reduced talking to me and his friends reduced talking to him. Now we both are totally isolated and are wondering what we even did for others to change so much. We never said that we are in a relationship right so what is it that is making them treat us like we are. And now we heard that those people are even talking behind our backs. Me and this boy are actually very hurt and it has affected us a lot. We are both egoistic individuals who do not like to go behind anyone asking them to be our friends we just expect to be treated normally as we used to be.
So the advice I needed was that by us being egoistic and caring too much about our "self respect" are we making the wall between us and them more ? Or are we justified in being hurt? We never thought we would become isolated but at the same time we don't feel like going back to these friends since we feel they weren't even real. The rest of the class already has its own groups which we cant become a part of .. I'm confused how to survive two more years with zero friends.

that's weird that your friends would do that.. I think what I would do is ask one of my friends why they are so distant and just have a open conversation telling them how you feel. If they don't respond to that then I think it's better to find new friends elsewhere

That's a very difficult situation to be in. I can understand your concerns and frustrations. I feel sorry for the guy also what's going through this too.

There is nothing wrong being friends with a guy. Ok, alot of people say you can't be friends with a guy and it's always more. That's rubbish!

From what I hear you was only trying to help the guy out and that shows you'd cared enough to listen to him.

Your friends don't seem to understand what it took for you to listen to him and being some help when he was going through a tough time. It sounds like they judged you from the word go.

There's nothing wrong with being friends with him. You was only trying to help a good friend out but to answer your question everyone gets hurts and it is justified to get hurt from people who you thought cared. I know it's difficult to understand but unfortunately it's life. Making the wall bigger? It depends. How much time you two spending with each other?

The only advice I would give is if you want your friends and his friends to not think there's nothing going on between you then I would talk to this guy first and just say maybe it is a problem us spending so much time together but if we could maybe break the ice and somehow plan to meet up with our friends but let not know the other is coming along and get us to all sit down and talk.

I think to me I think this is the only way to find peace and closer in this. You can only try and see for yourselves but atleast you known if it comes to the worse is you both tried but to me I wouldn't give up. Especially if you all been friends with each other a long time.

So in the mean time get him to come round and talk to you and think about the idea I suggested if you think that's a good idea.

Good Luck and I hope that helps.