Feeling in a rut

[1975fan]

Hi everyone, hope you're all ok. I'm a 23 year old female who has been graduated from uni almost 2 years now.

I was indeed a bit moody and down during my teenage years, sometimes a bit more than most people, but I'm starting to feel terribly low almost everyday now. I still can't find a full time job despite having a degree and experience, and my hours at my part time retail job have been cut way down.
I'm always skint, with my mum often having to fork out for my vet bills and petrol. I feel so embarrassed because I'd probably be homeless if I didn't have my parents. The only reason I was able to pay off my new car was because my grandmother died and left me some money.
I try to eat healthily and squeeze in little workouts in my room, but my body disgusts me and when I see photos of myself I cringe.

Someone who I was romantically involved with and grew very close to left to go to Australia, and had a new girlfriend, job and a house within a few months.
My best friend (and only real friend) left to go to London for a job late last year and has a lovely place where she lives, loads of money and a great relationship (as well as a huge circle of friends and is unbelievably attractive). I am never jealous of her - in fact very proud - but I often feel sad that I can't be on her level.

I know its unwise, but I keep comparing myself to both these people. I have no idea why she is my friend, apart from the fact I am a good listener. I actually have a good life and family, and a dog who I would be lost without.
But Feeling like I'm getting lower into this black hole. With every job rejection email/letter I get, the more I picture myself living at home and being a burden on my parents forever, unable to get out there and live, and just sit in my room staring at the ceiling while doing the housework to pay my keep. So many people I know are able to get jobs with the same qualifications I have. Is it my personality? Can people tell that I'm a miserable person when they meet me? How do I make things easier, if not better? I know that others have it a lot worse than me, but I also know that how I'm feeling and the thoughts I'm having aren't normal.

[100footpole]

HI,

49 of us have read your post.

I am 59 years old, I don't believe I have anything to say about your post except that I am glad that I made it through my tough times in the 80s. Technology makes the problems we have different for every generation.

If you don't get another answer to your question, please change the question ... or maybe just ask it again. If you ask 2X I'd be willing to tell you my ideas about what I would do if the impossible happened and I was 23 again with a university degree.