What did I do to deserve this?!?!

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Btomtom88
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2016 11:49 pm
Location: Ontario

What did I do to deserve this?!?!

Postby Btomtom88 » Tue Apr 05, 2016 1:11 am

I must have done something horrible in another life. I am not as strong as I pretend to be. Not anymore.

6 months ago I was on cloud 9 with a beautiful baby boy to love and cherish, shortly after a week and 2 very short visits to the emergency department I was left holding my dead son with no explanations besides no one noticed a heart condition.
I cry everyday, I have been loosing my hair in huge chunks, can't get the weight off, and when I close my eyes at night I see him on the stretcher with all the tubes and wires turning purple while they preform CPR
I feel so low and so lost.
Yesterday while preparing for another sleepless night I received a message from someone I didn't know. She explained how sorry she was because she has been sleeping with my husband for the past year and just recently found out that he's not actually separated like he told her. Shared great details of their scandal, even pictures. My eyes can never unsee these things. 7 years wasted. His explanation? ... It didn't mean anything to him.
Today as my heart is breaking and still trying to figure things out I received a registered letter in the mail. I was expecting it to be the coroners results I have been waiting for...
Instead they are court papers. We have put our selves in such financial troubles we are being sued.
I have no idea how to get out of this. No idea what I did to deserve this. I am probably going to loose everything I have worked my ass off to have and at the end of the day al I will have left is my daughter who constantly asks to go to the doctors too and a tiny box with what is left of my perfect little family.

It's 1 am and there is no sign of sleep tonight.

nenkohai2
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 12:43 pm

Postby nenkohai2 » Tue Apr 05, 2016 9:37 am

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and what has happened. I'm sending every possible energy and prayer.

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Tue Apr 05, 2016 11:26 am

What you are going through is not anyone's fault, especially not yours. The hospital has social workers who can help you find help ... I am surprised that they haven't contacted you. Contact the hospital, I think they will help you find an advocate to support you on the financial side, and hopefully they can help you find a therapist that will help on the emotional side.

A saying that has gotten me through hard times is "Curse the lesson, bless the knowledge." You can get through this, and having done that you will know that you can handle anything.


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