Advice Needed

[kpetty21]

Hello everyone,

My anxiety/depression battle started a little over 8 months ago. I wanted to ask you all for some advice. I feel as if the way I am feeling is wrong and I am in constant panic. I am religious, I do not want to go to Hell. It's like my head keeps thinking about suicide and avoiding it and then freaking out.. and it's a constant cycle. Does this make sense? I feel so confused about everything. Third medication and nothing feels different.

I feel like a failure that I can't stop this. I feel crazy.
Any info if this is normal or not would really help.

[nenkohai2]

Your situation is a tough one to talk about. I would be afraid of saying something that might be counter to your religious tradition and that could go down a counter-productive path. Have you been working with a counselor or psychiatrist? 8 months is not a long time. It could take much longer to de-tangle whats happening.

I realize that some traditions might place a link between mental health concerns and a lack of faith. I don't know if this describes yours, but personally, I do not believe that link exists.

I've walked a rather long road of religious and spiritual belief and I have developed a personal theology that may not be compatible to yours.

Sorry for being indirect or obtuse. It's just that I've seen these kinds of convos get into religion bashing (not here, mind you.... but other sites).

Might immediate thoughts? Slow down and take a deep breath. Then go see and work with a professional.

Best hope to you.

[100footpole]

The way you are a feeling is a fact ... it is not wrong, but believe me we all agree that it's not a way that we would choose to feel.

Remember that your job as a person is to establish a distance between thought and action. For me my thoughts are just instincts, Like wanting to eat candy out of the packages at the store. In the same way that I haven't stolen candy since I was five or six, I don't fixate on my other thoughts either.

I am going to assume you are in the US. Here is a number you can call right away, otherwise, please use the internet and let us know the number you found:

1-800-273-TALK

I found this number by doing a search for "Coping with suicidal thoughts",

The other things you need to do are:

1) Promise us that you won't do anything immediately. I'm giving you a long answer because I think you have more control than you give yourself credit for.

2) Avoid drugs and alcohol, I know that you want to get out from under that burden of panic. Take it from us who have tried to self-medicate, it doesn't work in the long run. It makes things worse.

3) Make your home safe. This is the same as leaving the store if you don't have enough money. YOU have control. If your thoughts are specific, take control of those thoughts by making yourself safer.

4) Take hope—people DO get through this - Read some of the other threads on here, Look for the ones with lots of pages. Of course there are ups and downs ... this is real life, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE, you will get better.

5) Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself. I am so glad that you posted on here. Tell us what the person who is prescribing the medication says. Were you as honest with them as you were with us? Are they listening? Maybe you should say that you want to talk to a patient advocate if the person doesn't seem sympathetic (AND THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME).

Please write back.

[kpetty21]

Did y'all ever feel like you weren't going to make it?

These aren't threats and I've lived with this disease for almost a year. I promise not to hurt myself.

[100footpole]

Thanks man,

Yeah, I FEEL like I won't make it ... But you gotta faith and my feets have got me this far ...

[ajaysutton]

Might immediate thoughts? Slow down and take a deep breath. Then go see and work with a professional.

There's a lot of wisdom in those couple of lines. I too am a spiritual person. As it happens, I'm a Bible believing Christian, but that isn't my point. My point is that I believe a lot of good can come out of counseling with a pastor or some sort of clergy, but that there's ALSO a lot of value in seeing professionals. Sometimes, those contradict each other. I would encourage you speak with someone in your church to see if they can recommend someone who is a like minded professional, giving you the best hope for success. But yeah... Slow down. Take a deep breath. That's an awesome place to start.