does anyone here really care?

[jake.x.99]

maybe we are ultimately all alone to deal with our struggles. maybe that is as it should be. everyone has their own problems and for all of the pretend support we give one another -- here and in "real life" -- it is fleeting. we spend the moment concerned and genuinely trying to help, but once the moment has passed, the daily realities of life suck each of us back in, and everyone is left on their own. maybe it is time for me to simply acknowledge the fact that I can make no meaningful difference in the life of anyone . . . even my own children . . . just as no one can make -- even if they care to make -- a meaningful difference in mine. and maybe it's time to take that reality to heart and accept that it is time for me to take the final inevitable step to stop adding to the struggles of the people i care for; it is time for me to just leave this life. i cannot fix it for me or anyone else so what good am i anymore?

[Gh0st78]

Hey there Jake,

I'm sad to hear your having a tough time right now.. I'm new here and in pretty bad shape myself at the moment. I just read this and felt a need to reply.

I mirror a lot of your thoughts but I think some people can have a huge impact on people like us. And we can have a huge impact on others lives. Some people genuinely do care. I always felt all alone in my struggles up until recently when I met and began talking with someone online about our shared problems/experiences. It really opened my eyes how much other people can understand this stuff and do want to help others with it. The point is people do care. It just this sort of stuff is hard for people that don't go through it to understand.

Never think you can't have a meaningful impact on someone.. Especially your kids. You just being around is a positive.

I too feel like I add problems to others lives. But my mind then begins to wonder how much harder it would be for them if I just left them here alone.

Your always good for something. Dont forget it.

As I said I'm new but post back and I'll see it and maybe we can chat.

I hope this helps in some small way.

Stay safe.

[ginazz]

I think I "get what you mean"--I just joined a few minutes ago--I've been battling depression and suicidal "ideation," as they say, for 50 years, since age 12--latley I'm feeling a "FORCE," be it GOD/UNIVERSE/ driving me "to it"--even the US natl hotline refused me!--I DO NOT deceive myself that my death will yiewld more than a shrug from those who know me--I've even voiced not-so-thinly-veiled-hints, and even my own sister didn't bother to reply!--all I see ahead is living in this badly-managed seniors HUD bldg, with my neighbor who is jealous of me and harasses me if I make even a SLIGHT noise (and I am SO quiet, I should be an Indian scout, or a cat burglar--never have felt loved, exceptt by my cats, and the last one BLED TO DEATH at the vet and they didn't even call me till she was ICE COLD--feel I let her dow, and now I can't fall for the lie Ikeep getting thta "things will gfet better"--they lift for a moment, but that;'s all, and I don't want to wind up crazy and bedridden like my parents did..

[NickStokes]

This forum was created for you. And to your question, there are people who care and are going through same things as you.

[NickStokes]

This forum was created for you. And to your question, there are people who care and are going through same things as you.

[100footpole]

Dear Mr. Internet Robot,

Why would a depression forum be an appropriate place to troll for people looking for shady accounting firms?

Oh, you're looking for victims.

Thanks,

[Cinderella]

maybe we are ultimately all alone to deal with our struggles. maybe that is as it should be. everyone has their own problems and for all of the pretend support we give one another -- here and in "real life" -- it is fleeting. we spend the moment concerned and genuinely trying to help, but once the moment has passed, the daily realities of life suck each of us back in, and everyone is left on their own. maybe it is time for me to simply acknowledge the fact that I can make no meaningful difference in the life of anyone . . . even my own children . . . just as no one can make -- even if they care to make -- a meaningful difference in mine. and maybe it's time to take that reality to heart and accept that it is time for me to take the final inevitable step to stop adding to the struggles of the people i care for; it is time for me to just leave this life. i cannot fix it for me or anyone else so what good am i anymore?

Dear Jake,
I wish I would have joined this forum much sooner so I could have spoken to you when you were in such crisis. I sincerely hope you are still there and will reach out again. You see, i DID try to end my misery. Fortunately, I failed and I'm very grateful that I did. I hope you will write back so we can chat. I can't offer you any "cures" or solutions, but I can listen and share my story if you like. I promise not to judge and I truly do care about how you feel. As someone who still fights depression every day, I care when I meet anyone who is in such pain.