Depression Understood Forums

It's Saturday night, and I'm drinking alone in my bedroom because I can't sleep. If I wasn't so bored, it wouldn't be all bad, but I can't stop ruminating on the events of the past few months and realising just how much I've lost. How I really don't have anything left.
The few friends I used to have won't talk to me or hang out with me any more. My best friend, who I was in love with for a over year, kissed me and now won't talk to me at all. No college will accept me, and no job will hire me. all I do is spend me days drifting around either stoned or drunk just trying to find purpose but nothing works. I don't think I've ever been this lonely in my entire life. Not to just feel lonely, but to be truly and completely alone.
I can't even sleep any more because I keep having nightmares about the only person I've ever really cared about, I try to reach out but nobody else cares. I think this is as far as I go, rock bottom, and I don't see any happy ending in sight

Hi Connor, I'm really sorry to hear what's been happening and what you had to put up with. I can't imagine what your going through. I know it must feel lonely right now but I promise you that your not on your own. It's really good that you managed to find this site and I hope we can be someone help. If anytime you need to talk then were always here.