I'm ready to exit
Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2015 7:37 am
My life was happy, filled with love, affluent, successful until four years ago. I was forced to retire at age 50 (Sep 2011) because the military command that I worked for was moved to Detroit; my husband had been ill for a long time and there was no way I could move him to Detroit. My husband had survived a multitude of life threatening illnesses, but had always come through like a champ. We were a top notch team in hurdles. But, in late Jan 2012 we ran head first into a brick wall instead of a hurdle. His liver and kidneys just shut down. I lost my beloved 28 Jan 2012. A huge part of me died too that day and even our daughter and three glorious granddaughters couldn't pull me out of the deep depression I succumbed to. I had dealt with depression my whole life, but was relieved of much of it when I fell in love with Charlie. Unemployed, living alone for the first time in my life, my daughter constantly needing help, my health began to decline and the depression got deeper and deeper. After all the expenses finally wiped me out in Dec 2014, I was forced to ask for help from my older sister, and being the control freak that she is, tried to run my life and completely disregard me as a person. The only lifeline I could still hold on to were my granddaughters, but a few months later.my daughter decided that I just needed to pull myself up by my bootstraps and move on with life and until I did that to her satisfaction, I could no longer see my granddaughters. It's been six months since I've seen them or even been able to speak with them on the phone. I have left out a great deal of details and losses for brevities sake. I am now ready to just be done with life. Everyone and everything that I loved and cherished are gone. There is absolutely nothing left of the life I had four years ago, there is nothing left of me.