Here is my story ....
My husband and I have been together nearly 7 years we recently married in June ,have a house thoughts and have a 3 year old son life was really good so I thought .
Back in December I noticed my husband wasn't himself snappy and really run down with aches and pains in wrists and knees . I just put it down to his stressful job flu etc ,things started to get worse with his moods and he was very distant from me . So I confronted him about it . This was January . He said that he had been to the doctors about his wrists and also mentioned to him that he was feeling low and depressed .
This was absolutely heartbreaking to hear but glad he opened up to me about things. I reassured my husband that I will be there to support him through this tough time .
Now trying to process everything I later find out he had been messaging a work colleague with them both saying I love you too each other 😢. Obviously I confronted him about it . He was sobbing apologising and told me he didn't know what was wrong with him. He said that he had helped her through a tough time at work they became friends but it was just message nothing more . he also mentioned to the doctor that he wasn't sure why he was feeling these things for this women and was ridden with guilt . But he felt he could open up to her about things because she was out of the family circle.
I'm still trying to get over this and I can't comprehend the things he had said to her as we are so newly married.
Things have been really tense at home with his moods and his constant desire to leave because of the atmosphere.
On the positive side he has signed up to counselling for 10 weeks as he recognises that things aren't right . But on the first session he told me the counsellor said he not depressed he's just lonely and unhappy !!! Would they really do that ?..this has left me totally confused and frustrated.
He has also been back to the doctors and is now on anti depressants which he had been for six weeks i know they take a while to work so still holding out hope .....
We are now in June just a few weeks until our first wedding anniversary so much has happened the last few months from sleeping in the spare room to give my husband space moving out to my parents with our son for weeks. He couldn't attend a family wedding in Scotland as it was too much for him ( he even moved out to his mums 2 days before I left for the wedding ) whilst away he went down to Cornwall to clear his head . He was sending lots if loving texts. Yet when we returned from Scotland he was just the same hostile character he was before we left.
I cannot believe the transition in him since our wedding. I feel like someone has kidnaped my loving , caring devoted husband and best friend and replaced him with a hostile irritable uncaring one.
I do put his depression down to his stressful job which he can never switch off from he has tried to get out but been turned down so much for other jobs . it seems he just takes things out on the relationship which is silly as we were so happy together. He's completely changed like a flick of a switch . Sometimes I wonder if he is depressed as He seems happy enough when he's with others . or when we both are around others ( acts as if nothing is wrong )
He says things which leave me in total shock too such as he can't see us growing old together right now . And he has no feeling for me. He feels like he had changed as a person ... Then days later he tells me he loves me ! it's hard not to take this to heart .
I'm very lucky to have friends and family to confide in they have been supportive but are now getting to the point where they want me to leave him and move on. ... I just can't yet despite everything I do believe he has depression even if he's not sure himself . I know my old husband is in there somewhere .
I'm trying to be so strong for my son and I to get us through this . He still is living at his mums currently but we do keep in contact about or son etc .we decided to do a trail separation but he still asks us to go for dinner with him and keeps in contact . Confusing ?! .
I have started to see a counsellor myself I hope one day my husband will join me so we can work on our marriage even tho he's so negative at the moment . But I'm going to try and take a step back emotionally and just be a support from the sidelines as living with us is too much for him right now ( easier said than done ) as I feel like I want to be with him contact him as I'm afraid he will get to comfortable at his mums
it's hard that I feel so many emotions all at once resentment , love , hope , sadness fear and the future so uncertain ,especially with our son starting school in September we are having to relocate his school under the current circumstances so we are closer to family just incase things don't work ( even tho I want them too ).....
He is doing all he can to get help so I'm just holding on to that. Hopefully we will come out the other side ( even tho it doesn't seem like if now ) . I guess the burning question is ... Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel ?? Xx