depression....abuse of power at work crushed me

[JoeMonty]

I recently went through what I consider to be major trauma at work. I have been in the military for 20 years and been a stellar officer up until now (although I still think I am). Basically after 2 years of putting up with a lot of bad stuff, my leaders did things that I thought were blatantly wrong so I made the mistake to report them to the Inspector General.

It all went down hill for me after that. I wish I would have read this before I went to the Inspector General

http://nation.time.com/2011/10/20/why-m ... -reprisal/

After I made my report they retaliated and gave me a bad evaluation which will now force me to retire in about 16 months. They moved me across post to a job outside my career field, and made me a pariah at my old place of work. Things my current leaders say lead to believe I can't trust them either. So I am very isolated right now. all my friends were from work. I am currently overseas.

Also if it was just me, I might think I was crazy, but there are at least 6 other people in my organization that had similar problems. It's just a corrupt place.

The thing that really gets me is I really believed all the crap they sold me about military values- integrity & honor and stuff.....for 20 years I believed all that stuff. When I think of all the people involved in my current situation and their lack of integrity it really crushed me. I feel like my world was turned upside down.....or that I am in the movie The Matrix and after 20 years I only now just discovered I am in the Matrix....so it's a major shock to me and hurt me. I came from a bad place when I joined the military ..and up until now the military has been good to me...it kind of rescued me....and now this knife in the back.....

but they say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. The military is kind of like a dictatorship. I think the only reason I survived being as naïve as I was is that I only recently started interacting with the more higher up people.

so my career will end soon, my belief system is shaken, and I am severely isolated.

On the up side, I should have a semi decent retirement check each month, I will still have to work but not as much pressure. Also I have a MBA. Also I have some money saved that I can last about 2 years without work if it came to it.

So I shouldn't be that bad off, but I still can't accept / process what happened to me. I constantly ruminate on it. Also I don't really trust people anymore. Also I wonder what kind of civilian job I will get and if they will be corrupt people as well. And the transition to civilian life has me anxious.....

I have been depressed & isolated since December and wonder if I will ever go back to my happy go lucky self......

advice?

[JoeMonty]

Anyone?

[JoeMonty]

No one? what kind of website is this? the chat room is usually frivolous too....

[JoeMonty]

over 200 views and no comments? doesn't seem supportive....