Depression Understood Forums

I'm 37 years old. I've never had an intimate relationship with anyone because I don't know how to trust people. My parents have been emtionally and phyiscally abusive to me most of my life. I have been in therapy for a while. I have lost 2 jobs within the past 10 years. I was phyiscally assaulted by another relative in my home during that time. I file a restraining order against that relative and other family members became angry with me at that time because this relative needed to see my grandmother who was living in mom home at the time. I am a quiet and shy person by nature which doesn't sit well with most people. I endured bullying at work in the form if being passed over for promotions, not being spoken to by anyone for two years on a daily basis, being asked why don't you wear dresses when no else wore dresses in a casual dress code work place and things of that nature. I have other health problems which are too many to list which has result in me filing a disability claim. I am lonely and heartbroken. I feel defective . I don't want to live most days. I am ashamed that I am being hit.

You are not a defective individual. You are a victim of circumstance. The emotional and physical abuse that you have suffered prevents you from having any meaningful relationships; it is a barrier. Your lack of an ability to form meaningful relationships, that is, if you have had any kind of relationship with another individual, has forced you into a fear of intimacy.
And the betrayal of trust you feel with interpersonal relationships makes matters worse. And although I have never experienced physical nor emotional abuse, I do feel empathy for you, not pity.

However, it is terrible to live in misery. Living in misery is comfortable; it is easier to live in misery by contemplating suicide than to do anything for your betterment or have someone help you.

Committing the act of suicide has serious consequences. It may feel as if the world could give a damn about you; it may feel as if it would be better off if you were left in oblivion. That is ignorant. It is self-loathing. It is selfish. I know for I have gone through the experience of being suicidal, albeit I was slightly younger and more naïve. Suicide leads you through a tempting path of self-destruction; do not take the path of self-destruction, it will cause you more harm than you could ever imagine.

Talk to me instead. Your life may currently be a wreck, but I care about your well-being. I loathe it when people are hurt. I want to help make the world a little better. So have some hope.

Don't Worry . You have a hidden fire of strength inside tou always . Now let it burn .Fight for yourself alone . And overall the world you saw eith your point of view is not fully like that . Find a partener , someone whom you can trust . There is not a problem in being disabled , I am also . But I enjoy my life as it is . Just live your life on man . Why do you burden your heart like that ?? Don't think too much . Learn to trust someone and he will love you by his whole heart ignoring your physical problem .

Don't think you are defective and learn to respect yourselves to be respected . As for bullying Dont Care about WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU. IF THEY DON'T TALK DO HELL WITH THEM .JUST LEARN TO PERCIEVE LIFE IN A DIFFETENT VIEW AND YOU WILL SUCCEED LOOSING ALL THESE THOUGHTS

PS :I am just 14