My Fight
Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:21 am
I had known from very early something was different about myself, I did not see like the rest of them, I did not feel like the rest of them. I never understood them and was disgusted with them, Like looking in someone's window and seeing a party were people lied and gave tight lipped smiles to hide there cracked teeth and blackened gums. I would back away from that window, back away from the light I would walk for hours till the dawn.
I could always feel it coming for me. The blackness of despair. Like a tide that you barely notice till there's a kilometer of water between you and the beach. I would sit on that rock and hate, I would burn with hate for all things, I would look at the beach and see people with there perfect lives drifting through life as if they knew some secret. I would watch as they would marvel at all these possessions they would lay out on there beach blankets with pride They would wave and smile at me, I would face the ocean. I would listen to voices in my head and all the rapid negative conversations they would never let me join in on.
Oh how they love to torment me on that rock where I can hear them best. they speak with my voice in my own mind how can I not listen. They are only me after all. I would sit till the water receded and I could walk to the beach, eventually I never left the rock for the beach. I just stayed sitting waiting for the next tide, It never took long.
Pills,violence,therapy
my crutches.
Art,writing,music,poetry
my wings of wax.
My fight
My Path
I'll see it through.
I could always feel it coming for me. The blackness of despair. Like a tide that you barely notice till there's a kilometer of water between you and the beach. I would sit on that rock and hate, I would burn with hate for all things, I would look at the beach and see people with there perfect lives drifting through life as if they knew some secret. I would watch as they would marvel at all these possessions they would lay out on there beach blankets with pride They would wave and smile at me, I would face the ocean. I would listen to voices in my head and all the rapid negative conversations they would never let me join in on.
Oh how they love to torment me on that rock where I can hear them best. they speak with my voice in my own mind how can I not listen. They are only me after all. I would sit till the water receded and I could walk to the beach, eventually I never left the rock for the beach. I just stayed sitting waiting for the next tide, It never took long.
Pills,violence,therapy
my crutches.
Art,writing,music,poetry
my wings of wax.
My fight
My Path
I'll see it through.