Depression Understood Forums

[intro of friendship]
There is the girl at work that I have a crush on, been working an year or so. So I started to try to get to know her better, we talked during our work breaks when we work the same day (had some minor bumps but nothing big). My schedule changed, now I'm able to have lunch instead of just breaks. (so around twice a week, we ate and) We talked about movies (that she is excited to see, but some reason never goes to see them) and what not, and just random stuff. Then I realized she probably does not like me as the way I like her. (so I reduced my text to her, did not want to chase my friend away over a one sided crush) Then 4 month later my schedule changed again this time I had zero days I worked with her, was a bit bummed by it. (still got to see here a bit, but only once every two weeks for an hour or so)




[last day I talked to her in person]

but...my last work day with her "every thing' was normal we talk about game of thrones and junk, she told me she was hyped for the movie"The Giver" and how she read the book. Told me I should look up the trailer and stuff...I said will do. Just being silly (like always) started dancing asked if she dances she says no, I said you should and upload it to youtube and become famous. Then she told me she was on youtube at first I thought she meant she had account...I was like so do I and? she then said I mean I am in a video on youtube, ask about it really got nothing about other then its 10 min and its brief and I wont be able to find it. I was like what...jokily I said I'm toldly going to find it, she laughed and said no you wont. work was over for her, said our good byes and said see you next time, not this tuesday but the next. She replied that a long time a ways. I said yeah a bit


I text-ed her that day about this drink could not remember the name at the time, kombucha it was telling her how refreshingly funky it tasted. Get text back telling me that I liked, this chai tea drink she does not like. (so...she does not trust my tasted buds I guess...but instead of chai she said chair drink.) we Start joking about chair flavored drinks. Asked if she could try to watch game of thrones ep 7. (did not get a reply) Later that night after work I get a text from her reminding me to watch "the Giver:" trailer. I watched then realize it was one the movies I wanted to see. I told her forgot about it, and it was one of the movies I wanted to see. get a text nothing special, told her that I'm wanting to see how one the shameless actors wil do in it.



[the day screwed everything up]

Then had another regular work day, now the next day on my day off...I thought to my self I should at lest try to look for that video. We are friends on facebook, I googled her name she uses on it (she told me its a family name) used it in google found that she had Google+, twitter and youtube account...spent 5 min with no luck on the video. (this where I went full creep mode
) I text telling her that it was harder then I thought it would be to find the video...but I did find google+, twitter and youtube account...and was hoping that video would been upload on her youtubepage. (was thinking maybe get lol told you could not find it or something)

I get quick a text back, surprised by how fast, i check it and it said.... "Stop.That's weird!

My heart just dropped, I crossed the line and jumped straight to the creep zone. Text-ed back saying never thought I would ever be That Guy...creep guy .I panicked and said lol I stopped (I know dumb) Then she text-ed saying "it is creepy..."

Text back saying "Already feel bad enough as it is, but I should respect your feelings. but All I can do now is say im sorry.
so I'm sorry, will keep text for work related stuff only for to keep me from saying something dumb. No reply



[Now what?]

Our next work day is in one week. Did I just lose a friend? am I hopeless undermining my self, setting up my self to fail? is there anything I should do, giver her space, only text or talk if she starts it?


(Sorry for the wall text, I'm just really down about it)

If you guys are pretty good friends then she wouldn't end a friendship over something like that. It doesn't sound like what you did was super creepy or anything, you were just trying to find her video. She told you about it in the first place so it's not like you did anything horrible, like stalk her and find out she made a video and then threatened her with the video somehow. And... what I just wrote was sorta weird but seriously, I doubt she'll just stop talking to you over something like that.

She may have just been embarrassed about something in the video though because that's a bit odd that she wouldn't just laugh it off or say something like lol.

It may be a bit awkward the next time you see her, but it'll probably blow off soon.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like such a big deal to me neither. I don't find the "creepy" factor in this situation.
But, you've already apologized if you made her feel awkward or uncomfortable in any way.

If I were you, I'd just try to relax. When you see her again just be yourself. I hope this helps. Good luck with things!

AwkwardGlassesGirl wrote:She may have just been embarrassed about something in the video though because that's a bit odd that she wouldn't just laugh it off or say something like lol.

It may be a bit awkward the next time you see her, but it'll probably blow off soon.

Now the wait...the waiting part and not knowing is bugging me, I get very little time to spend with her maybe once every two weeks at most.

[Edit it a bit, not much]

Don't TRY so hard.

Think about if she was a guy friend. When guys say I want to go to such and such movie but don't go it's usually really simple, they don't want to shell out the bucks for it.

When some of the movies she's discussed come out to the 2nd run theaters the price drops and you can offer to treat her, but just as a friend, to make up for trying to find the you tube video.

You'd buy a guy friend a brew if you accidentally broke something you borrowed. Same concept. No big deal but you want to do something nice.

She might prefer to go dutch to make sure no strings are attached and then that really means she's accepting you as a friend.

My BFF is now romantically involved with someone she's been friends with for years. It never made sense before but it does now and they have such a solid relationship that it's really cool to see them together.

Sorry for the last post, was in a rush.

Glad2bme wrote:Don't TRY so hard.

Think about if she was a guy friend. When guys say I want to go to such and such movie but don't go it's usually really simple, they don't want to shell out the bucks for it.

When some of the movies she's discussed come out to the 2nd run theaters the price drops and you can offer to treat her, but just as a friend, to make up for trying to find the you tube video.

You'd buy a guy friend a brew if you accidentally broke something you borrowed. Same concept. No big deal but you want to do something nice.

She might prefer to go dutch to make sure no strings are attached and then that really means she's accepting you as a friend.

My BFF is now romantically involved with someone she's been friends with for years. It never made sense before but it does now and they have such a solid relationship that it's really cool to see them together.

I get what your saying, but its feels like I'm always on the clock. I mean now it feels like it. I get one hour and its during work time. (so bit hard to work and talk with out rushing a bit) with these unknown times. After this up coming Tuesday im not sure when I will get to see her again, All I know is wont be for another two weeks.

The guess I can try the treating thing...how should I go about it? (ask the next time I see her?)

I need something keep my self busy, and not hang up on this.

should I ask forgiveness? This not knowing is killing me at no end. I Cant stop thinking the worst is going to happen.

Glad2bme wrote:Don't TRY so hard.

+1 totally agree with Glad2bme there! Someone who acts TOO keen can be a real turn off so try to relax and take it easy

Like others have said what you did doesn't seem like a big deal, you have apologised already so no need to do it again. Stop bringing it up, if you move away from that topic, so will she.

You should definitely invite her to watch 'The Giver' the next time you see her, I think it would be nice for you both to meet in a different environment instead of in the work place. If it all goes well, you can meet up more often instead of having to wait every two weeks to see her.

I hope it all goes well.. x