Depression Understood Forums

as some of you know i belong to a guinea pig forum, about 5 days ago this chick contacts me and said as i suffer with panic attacks, and she did too lets be friends. so after 2 days i decide to tell her the truth about me the way i abused my kids and animals.

she had the nerve to write back and ask did i sexually abuse animals. anyway this morning a person asked for opinions for their piggy who had teeth problems and was losing wieight and they could afford the vet treatment etc so i worte my opinion saying i wouldn't pts until i had exhausted every avenue first, so this person who knew my past threatens me saying i should leave the forum and i had no right to give advice and if i didn't leave they would tell everyone my past. so i sent a private message saying go ahead-mind you i was nagry so it wasn't that poilte so she writes a nasty one back saying she had forwarded my first message onto a moderator. so after much deliberartion they decided i should be suspended for a month when my situation would be reviewed and maybe i would be able to go back on.

that forum gave me hope, was the family i never had, i thought i had friends on there, but again i should learn by now trust no one on the net or real life. how many times have i been bittenby other people.

see now you wonder why i won't go out and"sopposedly have fun" when people can't be trusted they are out to hurt you! i am much happier and safer staying at home. so now i have nothing, i spent hours on that guinea pig forum, i felt i belonged, it gave me hope, now all i have is hate, anger and maybe that is the way i should stay!

no one cares whether i change or not and frankly at the moment i don't care if i never get better. maybe death with my parents would be better than life which is nothing but a bed of thorns. far as i am concerned people can rot in hell the only person i can trust is ME.

I'm so sorry to hear that happened. That would anger my greatly. It's a bitch when people don't understand.

I don't trust people either in anyway myself, so I don't have any advice to give I am afraid. Just wanted to let you know that I was sorry to hear about all your pain. That probably doesn't mean much come from a complete stranger, who, I might add, isn't very stable herself, but ... thought that in some way that it might.


It's such a lonely world.

it means a lot to know you cared enough to reply. hoping things start to look brighter for you, the bright side is i don't think for me they can get much worse. so why don't we stick our chins out and poke our tongues out at the world. it won't do much but will makes us feel a teeny bit better.
hang in there and hoping one day we can smile with the rest of them but show others compassion as we know what it is like. take care.

sorry to hear about what happened and I also have a trusting isue as well. It seems like anyone I trust it ends up stabbing me in the back somehow. So now any person I meet I can never fully even trust anymore and I have my eyes open all the time to be aware for those who might stab me in the back. I hate it
((((((((sigmund)))))))))

i know how you feel, and thanks to ever put up my avatar much appreciated. now you know why i have developed this thing when people get too close to me i hurt them before they can hurt me. i push them away before i can get hurt. i mean i lost my father before i was 2 my family who were supposse to love and protect me abused me in everyone so if you can't trust your family who can you trust? i hate it too! hoping things get better for you too E77, as the old saying goes we live and we learn. sending hugs and hoping your days become brighter and we can find someone in this world we can trust and wants to helps us. take care.

thank you
((((((Sigmund)))))))