work related stress

[Phoenixkeepsfalling]

10 months ago I was headhunted from a very stressful job but a financial firm, they offered me a lot more money and responsibility and it was the exit I needed, My firm at the time was pressuring me to take another role which I didn't want to do and had sat me in front of more and more senior people and sometimes 3 times a day people were hassling me to take this new role, so when the new employer came in and wanted me to take on their role I jumped at it if not just to get the harassment of my current employer to end. I took 3 months of garden leave and after a few weeks I became tearful but didn't think much of it and I was always shouting at my teenage kids, I tried to put it to the back of my mind.
I started my new job but the pressure was immense and within 6 months I had a full break down suicidal thoughts and ended up back on the antidepressants . This is not the first time for me its happened a couple of time in my life but this time was different more severe and the suicidal feeling were terrible. the AD's that worked before were not working and finally I was put on Venlafaxine, Diazepam,and zopicline. Im now three months on and about to go back to work, only on 75mg of venlafaxine now as 150 mg was making me feel drowsy. all the other meds I came off.

I was really starting to feel positive and like I was going to overcome again, this was the worst depressive episode Ive ever had and mine seem to have got progressively worse each time its happened.

Logged on to work systems only to find that there is an email auto generated telling me my manager has changed. non eon informed me i just get the auto email as they've updated the system. It has changed t one a woman I consider a peer who I don't get on with. Im now petrified to go back to work.