Depression, Anxiety Disorder & Sleep Disorder
Posted: Thu May 22, 2014 4:11 am
Just to share my life as I have no one to talk to.
I ended a 1 1/2 year relationship with a guy whom i loved deeply. It has been 2 years, coming to 3 years, I know i have let him go. As i know i am the one who is in the wrong. I was always feeling worthless, sad and negative.
To cut my story short, I was employed by a renull company and ended up in a law due their staff neglience of pay issues. I paid them the overpayment and yet they chose to sue me. Spend about 4K in the law suit. It was really tiring, embrassing and stressful.
It was really a very tiring and expensive experience.
I moved on with life as normal, as I keep telling myself things will get better, I will meet another better man to spend the rest of my life with and a better job.
And i was right, I met the man of my life, he was everything that i wanted. He was my ex colleague. He is a divorcee and he is about 15 years older than me. Things went on very well for us and we are dedicing to tie the knot later this year.
I was head hunted by another company, giving the chances for higher pay, better prospects and I took a gamble and went for it.
Things went on well for the first 6 months with me clinching deals and comission pay out was good ( sad to say my answer for asking for my comission after the deal clinch was, we need the client's payment before we could pay you) so i was thinking, alright sounds reasonable.
And in the 8th month i was terminated. Due to panic attack i had in the morning while i was preparing for work.
And my superior called me in the late night on a weeknight hurling vulgarlities at me. My boyfriend heard the conversation and called the boss. The boss told me off when I got back to work that he was totally disgusted that my boyfriend called him.
Prior joining them for about 2 months, I am seeing a pychiatrist. I was dignoise with depression, anxiety and sleep disorder after a suggestion from my GP that I need a pyshchiatrist help.
Popping pills in the morning and night toally made me sick, I was thinking what did i do to derserve all these? I am having suciduce thoughts, to the thought of planning my funeral.
I am really sad, why am i being treated this way after working so hard for the company even on PH when i am not obligated too. \
My family & me are not on good terms. And my mum is driving me since child hood. My growing up years is always filled with cane marks and open wounds. I started working when I'm 15 for my own pocket money. I wanted to do Shatec when I failed my N level and they turn me down flat when i asked them. Their reason was NO MONEY.
I went through the hard way, working and studying for my diploma.
And now my mum is not understanding, I told her about my condition and she says, its all fake!! Btw, I am not staying at my parent's place. I moved out about a year ago & stayed with my bf. I find staying with them really add stress to me when all i want to do after a long day after work was to rest & she will Not stop her nonsesne.
She has been driving me crazy, asking me when i will move home to stay & she total object me & my bf tying the knot as she wants face.
I am jobless for about 3 months, sending endless resumes with no positive reply.
And all i do everyday is to stay in bed. at times when i'm feeling so stressed up. my head will be aching like as if someone is hitting me with a hammer.
I am feeling worthless everyday, thinking of ways to end my miserable life. I am tired, really tired
I ended a 1 1/2 year relationship with a guy whom i loved deeply. It has been 2 years, coming to 3 years, I know i have let him go. As i know i am the one who is in the wrong. I was always feeling worthless, sad and negative.
To cut my story short, I was employed by a renull company and ended up in a law due their staff neglience of pay issues. I paid them the overpayment and yet they chose to sue me. Spend about 4K in the law suit. It was really tiring, embrassing and stressful.
It was really a very tiring and expensive experience.
I moved on with life as normal, as I keep telling myself things will get better, I will meet another better man to spend the rest of my life with and a better job.
And i was right, I met the man of my life, he was everything that i wanted. He was my ex colleague. He is a divorcee and he is about 15 years older than me. Things went on very well for us and we are dedicing to tie the knot later this year.
I was head hunted by another company, giving the chances for higher pay, better prospects and I took a gamble and went for it.
Things went on well for the first 6 months with me clinching deals and comission pay out was good ( sad to say my answer for asking for my comission after the deal clinch was, we need the client's payment before we could pay you) so i was thinking, alright sounds reasonable.
And in the 8th month i was terminated. Due to panic attack i had in the morning while i was preparing for work.
And my superior called me in the late night on a weeknight hurling vulgarlities at me. My boyfriend heard the conversation and called the boss. The boss told me off when I got back to work that he was totally disgusted that my boyfriend called him.
Prior joining them for about 2 months, I am seeing a pychiatrist. I was dignoise with depression, anxiety and sleep disorder after a suggestion from my GP that I need a pyshchiatrist help.
Popping pills in the morning and night toally made me sick, I was thinking what did i do to derserve all these? I am having suciduce thoughts, to the thought of planning my funeral.
I am really sad, why am i being treated this way after working so hard for the company even on PH when i am not obligated too. \
My family & me are not on good terms. And my mum is driving me since child hood. My growing up years is always filled with cane marks and open wounds. I started working when I'm 15 for my own pocket money. I wanted to do Shatec when I failed my N level and they turn me down flat when i asked them. Their reason was NO MONEY.
I went through the hard way, working and studying for my diploma.
And now my mum is not understanding, I told her about my condition and she says, its all fake!! Btw, I am not staying at my parent's place. I moved out about a year ago & stayed with my bf. I find staying with them really add stress to me when all i want to do after a long day after work was to rest & she will Not stop her nonsesne.
She has been driving me crazy, asking me when i will move home to stay & she total object me & my bf tying the knot as she wants face.
I am jobless for about 3 months, sending endless resumes with no positive reply.
And all i do everyday is to stay in bed. at times when i'm feeling so stressed up. my head will be aching like as if someone is hitting me with a hammer.
I am feeling worthless everyday, thinking of ways to end my miserable life. I am tired, really tired