Stress & Trying to Cope
Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 9:34 am
I find myself feeling down and quite antisocial lately. There is so much going on in my personal life - the fact that I don't have a job, and that I've become the caregiver to my elderly mother has changed my life in ways I did not anticipate. Lately I am unable to find a good night sleep, and I am constantly worried about our finances and my mother's health.
The stress has affected my mental stability. I find myself doubting every decision I make. I hate the fact that I'm unable to maintain a job because my mother's health issues and treatment always come first. I feel like I've stopped caring for myself and completely become the parent here.
Sometimes it feels like there is an elephant on my back and it is slowly crushing me. I have no time to myself, I have no friendships anymore, and I find myself constantly struggling to motivate myself to even go outside.
Its hard to explain but it feels like I no longer have the drive and motivations I had when I was younger. I no longer enjoy life, and somehow my life skills and coping skills have completely disappeared. All of my dreams are gone. My social life has gone as well. Nothing motivates me. I spend my time between medical offices and daily routine, that consist of only preparing meals and giving medication. The rest of my day is spent seating in-front of my computer or watching television.
A few months ago I packed our bags and moved to a new state, hoping that this new home would give way to a fresh start where I can fulfill some financial stability and find my mother greater medical care. It has been rough, nothing has worked as I hoped. And now I'm stuck. I know I need to keep moving toward my goal but the obstacles on this journey take all of my strength and it is wearing me out mentally.
The stress has affected my mental stability. I find myself doubting every decision I make. I hate the fact that I'm unable to maintain a job because my mother's health issues and treatment always come first. I feel like I've stopped caring for myself and completely become the parent here.
Sometimes it feels like there is an elephant on my back and it is slowly crushing me. I have no time to myself, I have no friendships anymore, and I find myself constantly struggling to motivate myself to even go outside.
Its hard to explain but it feels like I no longer have the drive and motivations I had when I was younger. I no longer enjoy life, and somehow my life skills and coping skills have completely disappeared. All of my dreams are gone. My social life has gone as well. Nothing motivates me. I spend my time between medical offices and daily routine, that consist of only preparing meals and giving medication. The rest of my day is spent seating in-front of my computer or watching television.
A few months ago I packed our bags and moved to a new state, hoping that this new home would give way to a fresh start where I can fulfill some financial stability and find my mother greater medical care. It has been rough, nothing has worked as I hoped. And now I'm stuck. I know I need to keep moving toward my goal but the obstacles on this journey take all of my strength and it is wearing me out mentally.