13 and I have depression

[leahpopcorn]

I did some tests and all of them came out positive that I have depression. It all started a few months ago when I stupidly dumped my boyfriend. He got a new girlfriend and I think maybe that triggered it. Since then everything has been going wrong. I have self harmed and thought about committing suicide. I have told a few of my friends but none of them seem to understand what I'm going through. I was hoping someone here could give me some advice please

[AwkwardGlassesGirl]

Being a teenager is weird. You go through a bunch of highs and lows and you always feel like you're missing something, you're not sure what, but it's something.

I get it. Trust me, I get it. Depression sucks. Like really, really sucks. It's like drowning above water, trying to walk through a fog, trying to peel off your skin to feel something. It's horrible. There is no way to truly capture the words to describe it.

But I don't think any tests can prove you have depression. I think the only person who can find out is depressed is you. And probably a trained therapist/psychologist. But unless you go to one of those, you just have yourself to ask, 'Am I depressed?"

Also, cutting is not the answer. I cut, or well, I used to but I'm pretty sure I'm done. I understand the need to feel something, anything. But cutting is not the right answer. I suggest trying to do things that make you happy; like hanging out with your friends, or playing a sport you like or finding a fun hobby, or really anything that makes you enjoy your life. (':)')

[Glad2bme]

There are pshycological tests that indicate a person has a depressed state of mind by the answers to the questions. However, they don't show if that is situational depression, depression from hormone imbalances or a physical depression that someone might have even if life were perfect in every other way.

Most people will have difficult life events and go through some depression, but once they face that situation and develop the tools to move beyond it most people leave the depression behind and learn from the experience. It actually makes a person stronger and more resilient in some ways to work through situations that bring about depression. Death of a loved one, break ups, divorce and other types of life losses. Unemployment. Natural disasters destroying home and changing the nature of your world.

You have a situation that really sucks. People often don't take teenage love seriously, but it's a big deal when it's happening to you. Plus hormones are causing chemical imbalances that complicate matters and make it hard to find your way through to healing.

Good news is if you've had these tests it's because someone is in a position to help you get through all this. Depressive thoughts are like bullies they just keep beating the heck out of you if you don't get up and get some help.

I've been suicidal these last few days and I know it's because I am angry at people I care about who have been disrespectful of me and are pushing me out of their lives to a certain extent.

However, having been down this road before. I posted on the board. I called people I trust. I'm going to get good sleep tonight and I made sure I ate and got new shoes since my old ones just broke. I took care of myself instead of adding to my reasons to be depressed. AND I was purposefully nice to people who had hurt me because I sincerely want to see real changes in our relationships, although part of me just wants to rage and/or hurt myself to make them care about me. To control them somehow.

Life doesn't work that way though and I know it. It does work much better for me when I focus on doing the next right thing for myself and trying to do the next best supportive thing for others or just leave them alone if I have to.

I don't actually cut, although my suicidal impulses would lead me in that direction if I let them. I've learned to ride the tide and feel my feelings instead of trying to push them down or take my anger out on others to make myself feel better. I'm not always proud of how petty I can be or of how cowardly I am at times. How much I will let slide because I don't want to lose someone I love.

I have had friends who cut and they have very creative ways around actually cutting. Rubberbands you can snap or cold things as alternatives because they don't cause permanent damage but make the urge go away.

I don't know if anything can "make you happy" right now but it's still important to act as if and put yourself in healthy situations like taking a walk in the sunshine or going to a movie even if you still feel a bit down afterward because treating yourself nice during this difficult time is still important.

Your friends may not understand everything you are going through, but if you say, "I need some extra hugs right now," they can do that and it will help raise your mood because of endorphine production and because it also makes one feel less alone. You are loved by friends and family even if that "special" relationship is no more.

Life will eventually get past this rough patch and you will go on and love will find you again. You're not even close to your prime yet and if you learn a bit about yourself you will find relationships of all kinds becoming better. We all learned some stupid stuff we can toss out in therapy and replace with more healthy ideas and give ourselves a better chance at lasting love.