My story so far

[angelcakes]

I have been suffering from depression for 3 years now (Not going to get into that right now) but recently it took a nasty turn.

I have always been paranoid and suspicious of people, but it's just getting out of hand. I constantly hear people talking about me at school. Sometimes it's just name calling, but sometimes I can hear them planning to hurt me. Their'll be times when I tell a nearby teacher and they'll tell me that nobody has said anything. Sometimes it'll turn out that nobody is even there.

I ignored this at first, but around January it got worse. I suddenly got convinced that my family were plotting my death. I broke down in school and had to be taken out of lessons. It took a couple of weeks for me to calm down and realize that my family would never do that.

At this point my mum told me that I'd inherited this off her. She said that it's common in our family and causes some of us to never leave the house in fear that people were out to get us. I was really happy at that point because I could talk to my mum about it.

However, a teacher at school started claiming that my mum wasn't looking after me correctly, which isn't true at all. She's still trying to get me removed from the family. She wants me to get mental health help in my town, but the only place has reports of patients being abused by people working there. I know that it would only make me worse, but the teacher won't listen.

I've gotten worse since then. I'll go through episodes of making up bizarre conspiracy theories and believing them until I get scared of going out. There will also be times when I'll try and talk to someone and being told that I'm just speaking nonsense. This just made the teacher even more determined to get me taken away from mum.

It's a struggle to even look after myself now. My mum has to sit me down like a little kid and brush my hair for me because I can't seem to do it myself, even though I'm 16. I used to be the valedictorian, but now I can't even do the most basic things. I'm suffering from god-knows-what in a town with cr*p health facilities. I just want to end it all while I can still think coherently.

[Pilule]

You should consult a psychiatrist asap. This doesn't look like it's going to go away anytime soon without any help.

[Purple angel]

I know you've been going through a hard time and having your mom beside you is a good help but I think it is best if you seek medical help for your condition, don't wait till it get worse do it now while you can..

God bless you..

[4EverMe]

Hi angelcakes,
This must be tough facing these painful issues, and I agree with Purple Angel and Pilule in that you need help quickly.
I can't express to you adequately enough how dire I feel it is that you don't procrastinate on this...
Perhaps, your mother taking the first step in finding help for you will show the teacher(s) that she is, in fact, caring for you responsibly. So, this could be beneficial in more ways than one!

Have you ever received a diagnosis?

Please know that my prayers go out to you.

[metaLarsllica]

(((( hugs ))))

I can only begin to imagine the fear you feel and face most of the time. Maybe talking with your mom about getting help in another town might be an option. As you say the only help nearby have be reported for abuse. Please keep safe and try and remember that your not alone.

[angelcakes]

Thanks. I've never received a diagnosis, but my family has a history of psychotic disorders such as schizotypical personality disorder and scizophrenia. My mum is trying to get me some help in a nearby town, but apparently it'll take a while. :/ She suggested taking up some hobbies to keep my mind off everything.