Depression Understood Forums

Hi all,

I'm in my early 30s and my Mother passed away in August last year after a 5 year battle with cancer. A lot went on in the run up to her death that I had to cope with and a lot has happened since.

Mum was assaulted by her husband two months before she died, which resulted in her being hospitalised and unable to walk until she passed away. He was arrested and I thought I would never hear from him again. Coming to terms with my Mother's death was bad enough, but he has attempted to contest her will. So I now have an ongoing legal case which I feel I really can't cope with

I feel like I've been through a lot in the last year due to Mum's decreasing health and things that have happened and it feels like everything is ganging up on me. I've been receiving bereavement counselling from the hospital where Mum passed away, but I don't feel like it's helping.

I have suffered from physical symptoms for the last 8 months (pains in my head when attempting to concentrate, sporadic dizziness and trouble sleeping) and decided I needed medical help, so have started 10MG a day of Citalopram. I've been taking them for nearly a month. I started to feel much better, but over the last few days I've felt very down again (although this may be PMS related!)

A friend/colleague who I sit next to at work has been very supportive. He's listened to me moan and digest everything every day and even came to my Mum's funeral. He's a (happily) married man and is 10 years older than me. Over the last 6 months I've started to develop a crush/inappropriate feelings towards him. I'm unsure if this is real, if it's a sign of depression or if I have mis-guided feelings towards him because of the great kindness he's showed me. He can be quite a flirty/cheeky character, so I guess that doesn't help matters! Some advice would be much appreciated

I hope I haven't ranted. I just feel like I have so much going on!

a10101,

What your feeling since your Mother's passing is normal and from my own experience of losing my mother in death 8 years ago I understand your feelings. I'm glad that your on medication that can help you. Your also right that some of your feelings maybe PMS related too, since I know I can go through serious moods swings when I am PMS'ing : ).

In the case of the co-worker that you have developed sort of a crush on, it could be because you have naturally reached out for help and from what you have mentioned he has proven to be a friend. What might help too is for you to find a grief support group since sometimes hearing how others have coped in similar circumstances can truly be of help. I am going to pray for you since I know it has power. You may not be religious but maybe it helps to know that someone is thinking positive thoughts toward you and hoping you feel better. When we lose someone we love in death it brings out tremendous emotions in us and it's important to take things one day at a time. I hope I have been of some encouragement my intentions were sincerely to help. Take care.