Depression Understood Forums

I'm depressed, and it's beginning to affect my well being. Many life changes contributed to my current state. From peri-menopause to botched surgery to daughter getting deployed to loss of friendships. The latter is the major contributor. Here's my story, and tell me if I 'm right in doing so.
I'm friends with "A" for 35 years, and "B", a coworker, for 15 years. Friend B's husband died of cancer last fall. I've been a supportive friend to both, but have a longer history with friend A. We've been through thick and thin, divorces, unemployment, and other life stuff. In short, we're bff. Friend B is a coworker turned good friend and also considered my 2nd bff. Through me, friend A and B also became friends. After B's husband died, A and B got closer and I feel left out. It didn't help that friend A didn't say anything when B lashed out at me. In short, A and B have been spending time together without me, and I cut off communications with both. I see B at work, but we're civil to each other. Gone are the daily email and texts, and getting together. We had lunch once but it was awkward. It is now almost the end of February, and it's been four months. I know arbitrarily cutting off communication is childish. But, friend A must have realized that something is off and feels some guilt otherwise she could have called first. Am I right? Some advice/input is greatly appreciated.

Hello,

Sounds like high school but I can understand why you feel upset. You played the middleman and now you are cut out so it is natural for you to feel betrayed by them. A 15 and 35 year friendship is pretty long time, are you willing to just let go of them just like that? If these friendships are important to you then you should meet up with them both and see what the problem is. I must admit 3 can be a crowd and 2 usually gangs up on the other 1 so just be prepared for that or arrange to talk to them separately if it makes you feel more comfortable.

I don't think there is a right or wrong, but I think its perfectly normal to feel the way you do. We don't know their side of the story, and I think it is an important piece of information that you should get in order to solve your problems as it is making a negative impact on you. I know they upset you but just step back and look at the bigger picture, think long term; would you rather keep them in your life or cut them out completely?

I hope things work out for you, you have been through so much with them and it would be a shame to let go of a friend who you have invested so much time, effort and love into.

x