my story

[mia6]

My name is mia and my story is about a seven year old girl who was molested by her older brother..it was never talked about even though my other brother mentioned it years later just to win a stupid argument as if I didn't feel anymore used or cheap? So fast forward to me being 28yrs.old and I'm working at a museum and I make a new friend named Chris..after being friends for about a year we start dating..he was my best friend. I ended up getting raped by him and lost the one person aside from my mom I thought I could trust but he was nothing but a disappointment and a coward. After that I basically hid from everyone and was so miserable that all I did was drink day in and day out. Once I got so sad I tried to kill myself by downing a bunch of sleeping pills because I was tired of flashbacks in the shower, nightmares so bad I'd cry in my sleep..to this day I still can't sleep well. The one thing that brought my happiness aside from music and art was my mom. Shorty was what I used to call my mom she was my rock, my light she was a wonderful, funny, strong woman who ment everything to me. I had a lot of trust and faith in her and now that she has passed away (she died on Feb. 6, 2012) I feel as though I'm just lost I have no direction nor purpose and my ptsd and depression are only getting worse. So now I'm living with my boyfriend and his family and my routine is always the same I come home from work and I go downstairs and listen to music or look at art online and stay to myself. Whenever I need to cry I do so without letting anyone see or know..if I'm angry I write or I beat the life out of the punching bag in the basement.[/i]

[CrazyLady17]

Hello Mia,

And warm welcomes here.

Remember what I told you over PM okay?
You have been brave to share your story with us, so proud of you for that as I know it took some guts and courage to do so. So well done for that.

You aren't stupid or cheap at all, you are a human being and you have a meaning for being here. God created you and he wants you here over woes he wouldn't of created you.

You now need to buck up the courage to go and speak to your GP and eh some practical help and support.
What they did to you is awfully wrong and is breaking the law. Do know that right?

Punching a punching bag is a good way to express or anger and other feelings; so well done.
What else helps you?

Take care.

[mia6]

For now thats all I do is hit the bag..my bosses wonder why im not aggressive at my job if they only knew what Im feeling..I stay quiet and meek because if I didn't id probably go postal.

[CrazyLady17]

Bless you.
I don't know what else to say love?
I have given you all the advise I can I'm afraid...
It's now in your hands to control the situation you know? As your the only one who can actually change the way things are in your life Mia. Yes this may be some tough love, but this is because I care and I want you to be happy and not depressed all the time.

Please consider geting some practical help from your GP or a counsellor?
In your own time of course, but I think that'll do you some good to be able to express and talk through your feelings with someone.

[mia6]

I understand and appreciate the tough love..I need it I know that and I know I need help-thank you for your wisdom and kindness.

[CrazyLady17]

It's okay, it's what I'm here for.
Good; I'm glad to hear you say that. Proud of you for that.

You just need to be brave and take that's next step... But I would urge you to tell someone sooner rather than later, I don't want to see you get hurt even more as I care too much.

Just think about all the advise i have given you here, an have a think who the best person would be to tell about it all first? Could you do that for me? (In your own time of course) take it at your speed only, don't let anyone pressure you into telling when your not so ready.

But like I said; think about all the things I've said.
Also there is crisis hotlines for women who have been abused.. Look it up on google; domtic abuse for women.