I'm not going to write down my entire life story because I don't feel like it. It's too long and a bit complicated for me to clearly explain. I will just divulge what's going on with me at the present.
Like I've said, I probably have just one friend. The other "friends" I have hardly communicate with me unless I initiate communication. To be absolutely honest, I'm sick of always initiating. If you're my friend, you're going to remember me. End of story, no exceptions whatsoever.
I've never had many friends, and the ones I had in recent years have all abandoned me. Friendships with me never last too long. I met my only friend online back in February, and we've chatted almost everyday since then. However, things changed a few weeks ago.
She was hardly on the computer, and when she was she would hardly initiate a conversation with me. This started to worry me. One day she didn't initiate a conversation with me, but I also didn't message her. Because of that, I sent her a private message saying: "It's good to know you're not interested in me any more..." Her response: "Holy where did you get that from, honestly... why because i didn't say hi? well i'm sorry i don't chat with you every time i'm on msn..."
Now she is online like before, but she still doesn't initiate conversations. I kept pressing her about it. One day she gave me the excuse that she wasn't feeling well. When it was time to go she gave me the usual "ttyl" (talk to you later) farewell. She went online later that day and she didn't talk to me later. I sent her an instant message saying just that and went offline immediately afterwards. On Thursday or Friday she gave me a new excuse: that she was in a "bad place" now and she wants to be by herself or dead.
This morning she was online for a bit, and she didn't message me. I noticed her status on the site we met was different: she was feeling better now. I sent her a new instant message: "I don't understand why you forgot about me." I really don't know what's going on, especially since she knows she's my only friend and I have no one else to talk to.
I always get angry with those who I feel are ignoring me, and I'm starting to feel annoyed with her. I feel annoyed with these other "friends" and it's making me bitter and miserable. The death of my family's cat couldn't have come at a worse time...
