Depression Understood Forums

problems..Problems...PROBLEMS!

Okay…here it goes……..

Problems:
1. I was "down sized" from my job earlier this year...have been actively seeking work...economy is so bad! I have been networking, registered on about 50 job sites, sent out hundreds of resumes, and completed hundreds of applications...nothing yet! I have BS and 2 AAS degrees…often hear I am “over qualified” I live in rural area…but only 25 miles North, East, South and West from major towns….where I have looked effortlessly. I am also Native American…and I can feel the prejudices and stereotypes all the time!!!!!!!!

2. I suffer from hair loss.....been to doctor...had tests done, all okay...taking Rogaine and Propecia....devestating! No results to speak of!!! Can not do hair transplant...I heard far too many "horror stories" from friends..(Been depressed over this many years!)

3. I tried for years to "bulk up" I worked out...took supplements, etc...I can never attain "that look" I want! Heart breaking! (This has been a problem since age 16) I am an ectomorph….even did 2 cycles of steroids back in the day….but that too caused many problems.

As for numbers 2 and 3...life is soooo unfair!!!! For millions of guys have all of this stuff naturally and I cannot even get it thru prayer, money, effort, and work!!!!!!! I attempted suicide..twice…over numbers 2 and 3….the last time…was “almost it”……..I always/constantly compare myself to other men…I do not “measure up”. It is devastating to see a guy who has it all…hair, muscles, a fine lady….and then…there is me….none of that I can get…and I am all alone.and will never have NONE of their qualities! I know personality counts, but you know you got to “attract” someone before they even know your personality.

4. My so-called girlfriend has been cheating on me for almost 3 years..with 2 different guys!!!! She will not talk to me...and she has stuff stored at my place...problem is...I cannot "push her" to come get stuff...as she has very violent, career criminals in her family...and if I am out looking for work...I do not want my animals killed, or my home damaged.....

I have been in theapy and on meds for all of this...to go with my depression, panic and anxiety (depression basically all my life, panic/anxiety last 7 years).......VERY little help that has been! It is so ignorant for a "therapist" to sit there with "perfect" hair and body...and charge me $350.00 an hour to tell me to "accept it"???!!!! Or focus on “other qualities”….???? I have seen 21 “so-called professionals” in mental health over the years…(plus 2 inpatient stays due to suicide attempts) they are all out for one thing---$$$$$$!!!!

I have no family.....I have friends in real life...but hey, they have families, jobs, etc...they cannot "be there" for me, which I understand. I have only a stepmother who has hated me all my life…and one aunt whom I love…she is age 93.

I feel so suicidal!!!!

Thanks for listening! And know that this is a two-way street---meaning you message me anytime, about anything, I am a good listener, and I am here to help too:)

Hey,

First of all welcome to the forums and hope yoh find the support you need.

Secondly; don't attempt suicide! That's the wrong way to go about things. Believe me. I have been there myself and have been in hospital 5 times after attempting suicide and to be fair it isn't worth it. Life is too short, live it while we can.

Keep reaching out here, we are all here to listen and support you.

(((Hugs)))

i am sorry for how you are feeling.
there is a famous native american Indian called ' Tecumseh ', forgive me if i spell it wrong.
he wrote a few things, but one stood out to me is that we should have a ' noble death song '.
basically he talks about living life to the full, bow to no one, respect all others, religions included.
when death does come , do not be like those who beg and wish and prayer for more time but be like a warrior and die with honour, and a brave heart .
what you look like is of no matter, we must all except ourselves, that is life.
we can lie to others or speak the truth, and live an honourable life.
we can do two things, live our life in regret and constant fear of how we look, what job we have , what car we drive etc......
or we can have the wisdom to know that it does not matter about what we ' have ' or what we ' look ' like .
it is what we are on the inside.
if we have honour, kindness, bravery, and live without any fear then we are successful.
you may suffer all your life, that may be your reality.
but if you live your life bravely and with honour, people that would have known you will remember you with fond thoughts and though you were troubled you lived your life with honour.
take care

Hello!

Regarding your problems:

1. Move to where there is work. (Could also get away from your ex + her family : kill 2 birds with one stone)

2. I don't know what your reasons are for hair loss but something you can try is : [A] iron supplements (internally) [B] castor oil + avocado oil (massage externally) [C] look up derma roller

3. I don't know much about bulking up but my friend is, he was the kind that finds it difficult to put on weight but after much dedication he is now massive. He has a strict routine when it comes to food, he eats 5 meals a day - lots of protein mainly and goes to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. If you want more details I can ask him.

4. Can't you take/post her things to her or ask one of her friends to pass them on? Take them to her work place? If she hasn't come to collect it then maybe she doesn't even want it?

Don't do anything silly! Think about your animals! You actually sound pretty positive in most parts of your post, you should keep that attitude! That's what makes a difference!

Many thanks to all responses....

I have a question??

My post....it was edited in title...it now has in parnethesis "Triggering Material"

What in the world?????

Hi Ihatelife. Triggering material is something mods put when they discover a subject that could be potentially triggering. In your case there was talk of suicide and abuse which can be hard for our chatters to read about so we put the triggering material up to caution people that it may contain something along those lines.

Remember what I told you in PM dearly!
Don't do anything silly, you will end up regretting it believe me. Take that advise from someone who has attempted suicide 5 times and failed and to be fair it's NOT the way about things. This wha I've learnt.

Stay strong.

(((Hugs)))

As for hair loss, I've been partially bald for thirty years. I'm not sure how to suffer from it though [ except from winter cold]. If you didn't know what you looked like, how could you be disappointed. There has never been a day in my life when, how I acted toward people, wasn't more important than how much hair they thought I had.

I don't spend a lot of time looking into mirrors, physical ones anyway, but it's been said many times that a bald head is truly impressive on many levels. The mirror I try to look into, which is one reason I'm here, is the mirror of other peoples response. It's good to remember that peoples responses are a reflection on your actions. But if the response is that you need more hair, perhaps it's time for a different mirror.

Pain (like a chilly head) is inevitable, but suffering (like grieving over loss of hair) is optional.

Of course living around people who would like to physically hurt you is stressful. But:

.I always/constantly compare myself to other men…

Is the root of all evil because...

I do not “measure up”. It is devastating

...is almost always the result.

I've read before [help me out now ladies] that the two most attractive qualities in a man are, not hair or muscle, but confidence and generosity. These are to things you can practice. Fake it till to make it. Do it every each day in real life and women will find you.

Yes exactly right, I totally agree Frame!

it is impossible to lose everything, because the everything is NOW, and the power of NOW is all there ever is, and all there will be.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”

“The past has no power over the present moment.”

“Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”

I added some quotes there, to take you to a deeper level.

Well, you're life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be. The mind (you're ego) is trying to break you down, because the ego is always in hunger for more negative thoughts. You say you starting to lose your hair, is that going to innterupt you so you cannot see the beauty in the nature and the EARTH? Are you're thoughts about your hair, job, or whatever going to innterupt you from smelling the earths wonderful flowers, look at our wonderful trees, and just sit back and be aware of the NOW?

The now is all there ever is, and all there ever be.

To be aware of the now, is to go inside you're inner body. Don't let you're thoughts tell you what now is, FEEL IT WITH YOUR INNER SELF.

-Joakim.

Thanks for all responses...I deeply appreciate it.

yes...I am unable to enjoy ANY segment of life due to the unsolveable problems I face.......this is tough...many of my issues have been present a long time...never gotten better......regardless of what I have tried

(((Hugs)))