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MyUnseenStarlight
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:26 am
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Last edited by MyUnseenStarlight on Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi Star,
Sorry that this has happened to you. You sounded like such a happy person in your post until this guy came along. I believe you have done all you can already to help him which you should be proud of, now that he is back up on his feet do you really need him and that other friend in your life anymore?
It is unfair how you was always there for him but he is never there for you, perhaps you remind him of his past. Then again just because you choose to help him, one should never "expect" others to do the same back, it isn't something that you can control so why not move on.
i do admire people like you, you have so much empathy and a very good heart, it is such a shame for you to stop being who you are due to 1 or 2 bad apples. You say that it is unfair that he doesn't treat you the same as you treat him but isn't it also unfair how you are treating your family and others through no fault of their own?
The way I see your situation:
You see him down in a hole, you reach out your hand to help him. He pulls you down into the hole with him. You push him up from the hole and now that he is free, has has walked away leaving you down in the hole. He will come back from time to time but he has no intention of putting out his hand to help you up.
I feel you should accept the situation, he's not going to come back to help you. You have spent enough energy on him already, now focus on yourself and help yourself get out. just because people can depend on you, it doesn't mean that you can depend on everyone (unfortunately). Cutting him out your life would be the first thing to do, it might be hard to let go but you really need to do this. If he was still in a hole it may have been difficult to leave him there but now that he has dug himself out you should feel no guilt and free to leave.
I feel that you are shutting yourself off due to one bad experience, life is full of hurdles, yes we do fall down but you need to learn to get back up. You spent so much time helping others who had fallen down, why can't you do the same for yourself? Do you really want to stay down and let those who care about you worry and unable to help you because you have closed yourself off?
I believe time heals everything, there were things in my life that I thought I'd never get over but now when I look back I can't even remember what they are. Something tells me you will be fine, give it some time. Don't give up on others and don't give up on yourself ^_^
*HuGz*
x
Sorry that this has happened to you. You sounded like such a happy person in your post until this guy came along. I believe you have done all you can already to help him which you should be proud of, now that he is back up on his feet do you really need him and that other friend in your life anymore?
It is unfair how you was always there for him but he is never there for you, perhaps you remind him of his past. Then again just because you choose to help him, one should never "expect" others to do the same back, it isn't something that you can control so why not move on.
i do admire people like you, you have so much empathy and a very good heart, it is such a shame for you to stop being who you are due to 1 or 2 bad apples. You say that it is unfair that he doesn't treat you the same as you treat him but isn't it also unfair how you are treating your family and others through no fault of their own?
The way I see your situation:
You see him down in a hole, you reach out your hand to help him. He pulls you down into the hole with him. You push him up from the hole and now that he is free, has has walked away leaving you down in the hole. He will come back from time to time but he has no intention of putting out his hand to help you up.
I feel you should accept the situation, he's not going to come back to help you. You have spent enough energy on him already, now focus on yourself and help yourself get out. just because people can depend on you, it doesn't mean that you can depend on everyone (unfortunately). Cutting him out your life would be the first thing to do, it might be hard to let go but you really need to do this. If he was still in a hole it may have been difficult to leave him there but now that he has dug himself out you should feel no guilt and free to leave.
I feel that you are shutting yourself off due to one bad experience, life is full of hurdles, yes we do fall down but you need to learn to get back up. You spent so much time helping others who had fallen down, why can't you do the same for yourself? Do you really want to stay down and let those who care about you worry and unable to help you because you have closed yourself off?
I believe time heals everything, there were things in my life that I thought I'd never get over but now when I look back I can't even remember what they are. Something tells me you will be fine, give it some time. Don't give up on others and don't give up on yourself ^_^
*HuGz*
x
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MyUnseenStarlight
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:26 am
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MyUnseenStarlight
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:26 am
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MyUnseenStarlight
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:26 am
Thanks again. You know I owe a lot to you. When you wrote the comment about how he was in a " hole " and finally came out but would never help me out of my " hole" it REALLY got through to me.
And the part about how he would " come back from time to time yet he would never change." That is him exactly. He comes around " once in awhile " .. and I put all my heart into believing he changed ... only see he doesn't.
There's a saying if someone treats you bad. Shame on them. But if you keep letting them repeatedly treat you bad , shame on you.
I really get it now.
And the part about how he would " come back from time to time yet he would never change." That is him exactly. He comes around " once in awhile " .. and I put all my heart into believing he changed ... only see he doesn't.
There's a saying if someone treats you bad. Shame on them. But if you keep letting them repeatedly treat you bad , shame on you.
I really get it now.
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MyUnseenStarlight
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:26 am
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Alwayslost
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2013 12:42 am
- Location: Missouri
I know what it's like Star
I'm new here, and in the process of writing my story, but I read yours and had to stop to reply.
My last significant relationship ended badly two years ago. She was a casual drug user, but occasionally did harder drugs. It all came to an end with a physical assault from her, due to larger amounts of drugs she was doing while home all day. She drove a screwdriver through my leg, and hit me in the head many times with a hammer. I had to move halfway across the country to get away from her, and she still stalked me via phone, text, email, facebook, etc for many months.
My light has also dwindled to next to nothing, and I know it's not worth it, it's not the way to be. Maybe through the support on here, we can help each other find our lights again.
Bless you in your journey Star.
My last significant relationship ended badly two years ago. She was a casual drug user, but occasionally did harder drugs. It all came to an end with a physical assault from her, due to larger amounts of drugs she was doing while home all day. She drove a screwdriver through my leg, and hit me in the head many times with a hammer. I had to move halfway across the country to get away from her, and she still stalked me via phone, text, email, facebook, etc for many months.
My light has also dwindled to next to nothing, and I know it's not worth it, it's not the way to be. Maybe through the support on here, we can help each other find our lights again.
Bless you in your journey Star.
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