Hoping It Will Get Better

[breadbreaker]

I was always that person people looked at and thought, 'There's no way she's upset, she's always so happy and upbeat.' 'She looks on the bright side of everything, nothing can get her down'..I was that optimistic person, looking forward and thinking of a positive outcome for everything, no matter how bad.

I feel so bad being in the state I am because there are people who have it so much worse. So I'm in a spiral, feeling depressed then being mad at myself about being depressed, then realizing I can't help it and then being mad.. I'm feeling like a major waste right now.

Last month my life was almost great, then I decided I was going to leave my job for something better - Bam - I got fired very unexpectedly. That was a blow to my self-esteem. Previous to that my dad -who wasn't much of a dad- walked out on my mom and youngest sister, and is mentally ill but is conniving enough to convince strangers he's alright.

I have these plans to go teach english overseas, and I'm going to do it. But right now, taking the course, being jobless and feeling completely hopeless is really getting to me.

Lately I can't even get my sentences straight and think of what I really want to tell people and what I should tell people. I recently joined a home business program which I would have loved to be all over, but right now I just want to look everyone in the face and say 'I've got depression, I'm not ok right now, but I will get better.'

I've talked to friends about it and my good ones know whats going on, but I had one last night try to talk me out of getting on anti-depressants. I felt like crying to her saying 'You don't know how bad it is right now, I NEED help, I need help.'

I don't know what I want from anyone when I tell them.. I've only told people I'm close with, but not the guy I'm seeing yet because I'm trying to figure out how I want to proceed with him right now. I think I want people to be understanding.. Tell me what they went through..

I know it well get better and this is just a heavy cloud following me around right now, it does get better.. How long does it take?

[4EverMe]

Hello. I'm sorry you're treading through a rough patch right now. Hopefully, it does get better for you. How long it takes? This depends upon a variety of factors, such as:
1. WHY are you depressed?

2. How LONG have you been depressed?

3. What TYPE of depression do you have?

4 How deeply is it affecting you? (Is it something minor, debilitating, or
in-between)?

5. Have you sought help for your depression? Counseling? On any meds?

6. Last but not least-- Social, economic, and environmental factors; Do
they hinder you or help you with your general, overall recovery?

All of these things are important to consider whle dealing with depression. If I were you, I'd discuss these issues with someone who's trained in diagnostics and treatment. Perhaps, healing will come with time! Just try to be aware of any changes. But above all, go easy on yourself! Prayer helps too. Are there any hobbies you enjoy that might be therapeutic? Wouldn't hurt to indulge in these things that comfort you.