Joy's story

[joy]

About me and why I am here: I just found this site and it seems like a good place. I suffer from depression and anxiety and I have for many years. I am sort of OK sometimes (or so I think then) but also fall back into the darkness fairly often. I am not in treatment now but have been at several times in the past. I have also been diagnosed with ptsd but I think that is much better now. Sometimes the depression and panic are so severe, however, I am not functional. I also tend to isolate myself (feel like I can't deal with people sometimes) and have nearly become a hermit at this time. Through just a little real fault of my own (and believe me I have obsessed for days on end) I find myself alienated from three of four family members I had in my life this last year for various reasons, including I was at a place where I just couldn't take anymore and stood up for myself and spoke my mind bluntly (that can be dangerous). That was very painful for everybody involved, no doubt. I need to make some deep changes in my life if I am going to be a useful human being again and I came here looking for some guidance/support. I have been on the futon for days on end or pacing the floor feeling completely desperate for months. I have plenty of good useful work to do if I would (and I do sometimes) but I can't focus and the futility gets in my way a lot. On a less gloomy note, I am interested in lots of things (when I am interested in anything), I have a husband who has usually stood by me through some rough times (and caused a few, too, but he has stuck around), I have eight cats, and I like to read, garden, and sew. Well, thanks for reading and I look forward to seeing more of your stories. I haven't commented on any but I feel less alone already.

[Alaska1958]

Hi Joy, I'm in Alaska and have been my whole life. It's a good place in a lot of ways, but I am dreading the coming winter.

Are you taking an antidepressant? I know for me they do help. Not nearly as much as I'd like though. I've been able to work most of my life, but in the last few years I've had a hard time getting out of bed. My wife got tired of living with a depressed man and we are getting divorced now. The only thing that keeps me here are my boys.

My last therapist made some good suggestions. It's hard to build new, more positive habits when we're really depressed, but we can try. I too tend to isolate and have trouble getting out on bad days. I've had some success making new friends and interacting with them. That helps me a lot. I even got some good responses to an ad in Craigslist in the "strictly platonic" section.

I know that getting some regular exercise is good too. There are times when I'll go out for a bike ride or a walk and it realy lifts my spirits. There are also many times when it doesn't though.

Good luck Joy. I try to check in here fairly often, so if you want to we can talk more.

[Teddi in Texas]

Hi Joy, I read your story and almost sounds like me. Stay in touch.