I was born in the 60's, and the age of eight my father committed suicide. He was an alcoholic and was in and out of the mental hospital a lot. Don't know why but I figure it was probably bipolar since I am bipolar.My mom was also a mental patient and had EST. Dad died on Dec. 19, 6 days before christmas. I don't remember much about my childhood but the funeral is what I remember most, I almost remember each detail, and that haunts me everyday. I was diagnosed a few years ago being Bipolar. My wife had an affair, lost my job, my son is ashamed of me, the rest of my family won't talk to me and that hurts a lot.
Anyway I suffer with severe depression with a small window of mania. Mostly depression. I'm living through hell right now. I'm trying for disability. I can't get out of bed most days. The pain of life is just too hard. I've giving up on finding a job. I've just giving up. I have no insurance so the state operated facilities are at most no help. I can't get the meds the doctors say I need because I have no insurance. Any stress at all sends me over the edge. Please help
