hi im the queen of denial

[rugbyfan]

hi im 31 and have been diagnosed with depression since i was 15 however since i grew up in a drug household both legal and not legal i didnt want to be put on any drugs of any kind and resisted and denied i had a problem for years but after a incident this year i finally let my doctor put me on fluoxetine 20mg and then after a 2 months i had a really really bad day and told my doctor and he upped the dose to 40mg. none of my family knows I'm taking anti depressants even my partner who is great doesnt know how bad i get. i feel like im fake most of the time.... the perfect family with the white picket fence is how everyone sees us... I'm really trying but I'm just struggling to keep up the happy face and am just scared im going to lose my shit and i have kids and family who depend on me to be strong for them but its getting harder to be there for everyone and I'm finding myself breaking down alot more... so anyone who has the time share advice i would really appreciate it

[fallen]

hypnotherapy works and there is no medication involved, but it sounds to me in my limited knowledge that you need to talk to some one a professional and talk out your past with someone. taking medication can be a solution but some times only part of the solution.
the fact that you care about your children shows you are a loving soul.
depression can be beaten, but sometimes it can be episodes in your life.
you are in control of your actions and depression you can beat this be strong.
take care

[grandmaP]

It sounds like your partner is supportive so it is time to tell all to him. It is too much to try to keep it all to yourself. When I told my whole family it was a weightt and i no longer had to wear a mask and try to hide my feelings.