Thank God for meds.
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:54 am
I have suffered from depression my whole life. I can remember as a kid how I never felt I had the capacity to feel truly happy. I identified the sensation of feeling as though I was living my life under the "bell jar". The older I got the less connected I felt in my relationships and life in general and I began to withdraw. Then I discovered alcohol. In the beginning it worked like a charm but by my mid-twenties I increasingly became aware that I was drinking alcoholically. I was introduced to my first outpatient experience after being mandated as a result of a DWI. Finally I was getting somewhere but it was many years of denial before I realized my life was not getting better. I did not want the stigma of being medicated but when I finally surrendered I discovered a world of relief I never knew existed. Many years of therapy and talk-therapy led to dead ends and n some cases left me worse off than I was before. A good therapist helped me discover some tools for dealing with anxiety and stress which I never learned when alcohol arrested my development. However, without antidepressants, and my case Wellbutrin, I just couldn't seem to grasp the concepts. Today, in my mid-forties it is possible to get out of bed and function in a more productive , sober life. I did not have to end up in the gutter, lose custody of my child or wrap my vehicle around a tree and I owe most of it to medication which made it possible. I am still not happy all the time but I have discovered no one is! But at least I no longer wish my life would end. Worth a try.