Depression Understood Forums

I recently started going to a counselor to sort through my feelings about graduating from college. I've never been one to deal with change well, and this change seems to be affecting me more than I thought it would in the first place. I have found that over the last year and a half my personality and interests have been changing constantly - and not in a good way - and my motivation has dipped so low that it actually is starting to scare me. There are days (like today) where everything I have to get done has been very overwhelming and it doesn't seem like all of it will get accomplished. It's been very difficult to be around people as well except for one-on-one situations with select people and I find myself beating myself up over things that should not bother anyone, like how I react to a specific situation or what I said to a friend at lunch earlier in the day that could have been misconstrued and that they won't be my friend anymore. I feel like I'm living at such extremes lately and I don't know how to handle it.

My best friend has also been dealing with problems like these. She's been seeing a counselor for the last 3 years and was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and recently came out to me and her family and some other close friends. I'm so proud of her for how far she has come with her healing, but for 2 of those 3 years I was the only person who knew the extent of her anxiety issues and how bad they actually were. Holding a secret that big took a huge toll on me and now I find myself so invested in her well-being that it feels unhealthy. I constantly worry about her, especially when she comes out to another person because I don't want to see her get hurt or react destructively if someone reacts poorly. I worry every day if she's having a good or bad day, because a bad day for her is almost always a bad day for everyone. It's been really hard watching her go through all of this. But when I told her a few weeks ago that I had been thinking of seeing a counselor, her reaction was that I didn't have a problem and that there was no need to go talk to them for what was going on. I felt really lonely and dejected; how could someone who has gone through so much and has benefitted so much from talking to someone not be more supportive of this? Her reaction is one of the reasons I haven't told anyone what is happening, not even my parents. I can't deal with other people being hurt right now because I can't even deal with myself and my emotions.

Are these feelings normal for someone who is depressed? Does anyone else feel this way that could give me some guidance on this? I just feel really lost right now and am not exactly sure where to go from here on dealing with depression and my friend...