Depression Understood Forums

I don't know if I'm depressed or not. I think I am but every time I tried telling my parents they just tell me to get it off my mind that I'm depressed.

Well I think im depressed because I feel really sad but what makes it worst is that the only people in the world I know just think I'm saying that I'm depressed for attention. the only friends I have only come at night but I don't want them to visit so I close my room door and turn my lights on so they don't come. I can't sleep with the lights on so I don't get much sleep at all.

They've been visiting me since I was very young and for a very long time in my early childhood I was afraid to go to sleep and barely got any of sleep. Sleeping with my parents helped but they still scared me.

I was also afraid to take a bath so I always smelled and nobody wanted to sit next to me or talk to me.

It went on like that for about 8 years then my dad and brother started to abuse drugs. They were both already bi polar but the drugs made it worse. Thankfully my brother was I'm college but my dad became crazy and quit his job (a really really good job too) and started harassing my mom. He would do things like taking her phone and using it to call business contacts she had telling them how evil my mom was and other things like threatening to turn her into immigration (both my parents are illegal aliens)

All of these things stressed me out and I became really sad but I couldnt tell anyone because nobody cared

I've been considering killing someone so o can stay in prison for the rest of my life but I want to become better please help me

firstly don't kill anyone no one has the right to take another persons life.
you are not your parents your an individual, its up to you what you want to be in life, you can be a kind person or the opposite of that, that's your choice.
don't be afraid of the things that you can't see and the things that you can see,no one can harm you, not the real you.
you can not destroy hope, love or kindness.
life is hard but fulfilling. be kind to your self and to others and life will reward you.look after yourself.

Idk what to do I just want friends and people that care about how I feel

i care and i'm listening

Well recently what's been bothering me is that I like this guy but idk what I should do hes on my mind all day and I cant concentrate on school I wish I was at least friends with him but idk how to talk to people. Its really been bothering me lately and idk what to do

firstly you need to concentrate on school.
secondly know what your interests are and try and find out what his interests are, so you have something in common.
this will give you something to talk about, so you don't feel as difficult.
be yourself, but remember sometimes people that we think are great may not be so great or so kind.
hope this helps just a little ,study hard and enjoy life

We have common interests but the main problem is I'm a guy too

if you want friendship that's fine.
if you want something more with this person that's fine too.
but you just have to make sure it is what he wants as well , that way no one will get hurt.
take care of yourself.