Depression Understood Forums

Dear parents, im sorry for being such a disappointment. im sorry i cant make good enough grades. im sorry i cant live up to your expectations. im sorry im not the daughter you would have liked to have.. im sorry im such a failure.
; Dear friends, im sorry if i start to distance myself from you guys just know that those werent my intentions /: Im sorry if i start to push you guys away. Im sorry if i never stayed.
; Dear me, im sorry i was ever born. im sorry i hurt you, im sorry if i put you down, im sorry i make you miserable.. im sorry you had to be me, im sorry you had to be so stupid and pathetic /: im sorry.
- Im sorry im not perfect, im sorry i cut. im sorry i break my promises when i say that i wont cut anymore. Im sorry i want to give up. im sorry i want to die. im sorry i want to kill myself. um sorry i hide my emotions, im sorry i lie and say im fine. im sorry if i end up pushing you away..
, im ugly, im worthless, im useless, im depressed, im not okay. i want to die, i hate myself. im just a pathetic person taking up space in the world. im a disappointment to everyone, im a victim of my own mind. but i promise you that one day i'll be gone, one day i'll finally have the guts to kill myself /: Im sorry i was ever born ..

Hey there,
I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I don't want to pretend like I have the right words to say but I'm here and I hear you.

I understand how it feels to think that you are a disappointment to everyone around you. I don't know you but I'm sure you're not. Each one of us has something to offer to the world. Reach out to your friends and family I'm sure they love you and want to show you.

I pray things get better for you.

Be well- Alyssa

Hey.

Your post is heart-breaking. I can tell you're very deep into the horrible mental thought processes that make up depression. I think I can relate.

For what it's worth, try to remember that you have a disease. You are not a disappointment ... you simply have a mind/body that is being attacked by a very damaging disease. It is not any different than someone who has cancer, or some other horrible medical condition.

Maybe that doesn't help much, but I have discovered that if you come to realize it's not your fault, then it is easier to attack the depression that is hurting you, because at that point you are no longer attacking yourself.

I wish you some peace in your difficult life.

I can completely relate to this post. I fight very hard against thoughts like this but it is hard. I feel that no one in my life understands what I go thru at all. It is why I joined this site. I don't understand why I can't find people I can trust with my friendship or love. I feel like a failure even as I can see my accomplishments. Inside I feel broken, I can't fix it. I just wish someone would take my hand and walk me away from all of it. Death seems like the best way to stop it. I am like a roller coaster. One day I am strong and then one word or slight rejection just pulls me back down. I sabotage everything good it seems, in one way or another. What are we going to do?? What are we going to do?? I have lost my faith in people.

Worthless is a funny word, by definition meaning; 'a person having no meaning' ... but think about your post. That post meant a lot to me. It made at least one person in this world think to themselves "I do not want this for me". Seeing your story is Worth in itself. Although bittersweet to think, in the lowest part of your life- you gave hope to someone else. You saved one person's life.

THAT. is meaning. THAT is power. THAT is something to be proud of.

Instead of working up the 'courage' (although really its not courage at all, courage is deciding to fight) to take my own life, I now hold on, in order to follow your posts, and progress. In order to help you and see you through this disease..

Thank you.

I am living, because I believe in YOU.