"alone" in a new city and struggling

[kimmie888]

Hello everyone.I am new to this and am hoping to find someone to maybe talk to.I just recently moved to Chicago to be with my boyfriend.I have been dealing with depression and SEVERE angry mood swings and suicidal thoughts for most of my adult life now.I am alone everyday and am unable to control these overwhelming feelings of hopelessness.I have no vehicle,so its hard for me to get out and I have no support system here.my boyfriend is just establishing himself at his new job and he travels a lot so I am,for the most part,alone all the time.I left Indianapolis,where ive lived most of my life,and am now in a strange city and Im not quite sure how to handle these feelings. The sadness is overwhelming, to the point I have already wrote goodbye letters.I dont want to die,but more just disappear.I know my small circle of friends I have are tired of worrying about me and I am tired of always feeling this way. I am currently unemployed and am having a hard time funding a job.I try to stay busy and keep myself occupied but its extremely difficult.I could go on and on about so many things but its useless. Thanks for reading and Im glad ive found this site.

[hollyann]

Hi Kimmie, welcome to the forum. I hope you try the chatroom too. I know you said you dont have a vehicle,is there a bus line that can get you from point a to point b? Maybe you can find out if there are support groups in your area, or maybe volunteer somewhere while you look for a job, just to help keep you busy.

hollyann