Depression Understood Forums

I cant deal with this anymore, I'm not strong enough. and I'm tried of pretending that I am. I'm drowning in my own thoughts. I often question why I even exist? I feel so depressed, so useless, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. maybe I'm just not worth caring about. Worthless, pathetic, depressed, useless, pointless; yup that's me /: I don't think I can do this anymore. I remember how before I used to lay in bed crying. now I just lay there with a blank expression on my face. I never thought I would get so used to the pain, so used to feeling this way, but I guess that I did. I just wish things could be different. People see a smile on my face and think that everything is fine. I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay. I'm tired of pretending that everything is fine, when everything is just falling apart, again.. Its not enough to say I'm sorry for being here, maybe I should just disappear and be gone from this stupid life that has no meaning anymore. WHY DO THINGS HAVE TO BE THIS WAY? Why cant I be happy? Why cant this pain just fade away and be gone? Why. I Wish I didn't have to pretend anymore..

Hi ihatethislife. I'm sorry you are feeling all those things. Have you thought about therapy? And some positive self talk can help the way you are feeling towards yourself. It takes work to feel happy sometimes. Do you ever treat yourself? or try to think of one thing you might look forward to?

hollyann