Depression Understood Forums

Hey everyone im a 21 female from nz

I wish my family loved me and i felt secure in knwing that ill always have somewhere to go someone to turn too. My childhood wasnt the best but i loved my mother she was beautiful she had a addictive personality which she turned to drugs.she was murded when i was 10 by her bf i was at a friends house thank god or he would of got me too. My friends mum drove me home that day since mum never picked me up.....I never cried not untill i was 14 and my uncle started treating me diffrent i had no one i tried to tell people how i felt but no one listend. i ended up failing to take my own life and was in a mental hospital for 3weeks My own granma thinks im the cause of her daughters death beacause if i hadnt been born my mother would of been happy. After being in hospital my family never saw me i went to foster homes untill i was 16. All i do now is make sure im in a relationship because it feels like thats the only way ill feel secure even if the relationship isnt right for me.


Sorry it was long ther is alot more to the story but its 4am and i have work in 3 hours.

(((((( Big Hugs )))))))) I know sometimes it can seem that you got dealt a lousy hand, but somethings all we do I try are best to bluff it and keep fighting.
I know how hard that sounds but it's true I think. I do know what it is like to seek love in other places but perhaps you can work on finding love within yourself. As that will be unconditional, and then work on finding love for others.

No matter what just hang in there I am certain life will end up surprising you on were your journey ends up.

PeaceLove