Dog attack, I was his only hope

[Lemae]

They told me he didn't like other dogs. I should've known he couldn't make it downtown in a city. After loving him and bonding with him for a week, today we went out for a walk in the beautiful weather and he attacked another dog. It was the most horrific minutes of my life. He launched right into the neck of another dog and even though I had him on a leash I couldn't get him off. I weigh only 30 lbs more than him, and couldn't lift him though I tried. The other dogs owner was screaming and someone was punching Bear in the skull. Someone went to get a gun out of their car and I stood there pulling his leash, yelling, shaking, surrounded by a crowd of people and the dog on my leash trying to kill another dog. We got him off and pulled away when he broke through his collar and charged the dog again before I tackled him.

Someone helped me get him down the block into my car. Amazing how he switches from rampant to sweet in seconds. I just cried because I knew he had to go back to the shelter and would never have another chance. I went to my house to get all of the toys and things the humane society sent with him and then drove him to his death. Seeing him penned back up in the cage was so hard, he looked completely betrayed. I just kept telling him how sorry I was that someone was so mean to him as a puppy to cause him to end up like this.

When Bear first came home with me and was so grateful and sweet. Anyone who has ever fostered a dog from the humane society knows the way they look at you so happy and follow all over the house for fear of being given up again. I'd never had a big dog before but Bear is a lab mix and came to me already house trained, never barking, able to be left alone during the day with no whining or destroying things in the house. I am so lost and alone, my closest friends and family are 2,000 miles away as I just live here for school. I've called my boyfriend of four years crying multiple times today and now he won't even text me back, but it's 3:30 am here so I can't blame him.

I need some help because I can't stop reliving the attack in my head and then knowing the vet will come euthanize him this week with no one to love him. Just like me, alone in a whole state with no support and no love. I really need to get some help but I'm an atheist so I'm uncomfortable talking to a religious leader and can't afford a counselor. The whole way home from abandoning him I wished I would get in a car accident so that my family would have to come here and help me. I know I will never be willing to foster again and I am now in the apartment I shared with Bear crying for hours, alone for the rest of my life. I have never been so lonely.

[hollyann]

Lemae. I'm so sorry you went through this. It had to be a horrible experience for you to see something like this. It also had to be hard to take the dog in. Can you go home for a visit? ((((((Lemae))))))))) You have us now.

holly