Depression Understood Forums

Back in april I lost my job. I was working part time and I was grateful to be working and keeping busy aswell as spending plenty of time with my LO. Ever since then I have slowly gone from just feeling down, to feeling like a completely different person. I search daily for a new job and constantly apply but now it feels like its beyond just getting a job. I feel useless every single day and wish I could just sleep forever. I find myself doing less and less around the house and barely going out. My memory has become terrible and I find myself struggling to remember things literally minutes after they have happened. I feel like a terrible mum for not taking my LO out enough as its a constant struggle to bring myself to go outside. When I do eventually get out I can't help but feel anxious and desperate to be back home instead of feeling like everybody is watching me. As it gradually got worse it was causing weekly problems in my relationship in which numerous times I said I would see a doctor. Eventually my partner threatened to leave because he couldn't cope and I made myself go to the doctors, feeling sick and wanting to go home the whole time I was in the waiting room. Since that day I have felt worse than before I went. I felt I'd proven myself right in that the doc wouldn't understand and would dismiss my problems. He said I could either go on an nhs waiting list to talk to some1, or paying privately and being seen to quicker. Considering money is another stress factor I'm struggling with I have just felt that there's nowhere to go from here..I explained how difficult it had been for me to make that step and visit him and I don't c how talking to another person will help. I left his office in floods of tears and don't know what to do now..I feel like I should just struggle on and hope it goes 1 day but I don't want to have to feel like this anymore for my daughters sake..

The problem you have is with self-esteem, you were vere proud to say that you were workingand you don't feel like the same person because of it. Lots of people are in the same boat nowadays and it does get lots of people down. As an 18 year old who has just lost his job because the company went into liquidation, I totally understand what it does to your confidence - I haven't even told anybody apart from my parents because I felt ashamed. The problem is if that you get the offer of an interview you have to be confident in front of them. You should sign in at the job centre if you haven't already done so and the connexions website is also very helpful. I hope this helos, if you look on the brightside, you have more time to spend with your kid. I hope this helps.