Depression Understood Forums

this is my first time on a site like this so im not sure of what to do or why im even here i no my problems i no what to do to fix them i just cant.

I am a junior in college. i live at home have some friends a brother wh is my best friend in the world im not poor im decently smart, athletic, but im not happy and havent been for a long time. ive broken down a couple of times but this past week ive gooten to the point of why bother. I started dealing with depression as a junior in high school I had friends in high school and playedd alot of sports. I never had a girlfriend though. Im extremely shy when it come to talking to girls never i dont know what to say so i dont say anything. My junior year i met a girl and we began dating, she broke up with me twice in high school and to say the least i was devestated. I havent had another girlfriend since her. I go to bed every night thinking about her. I still to this day try to talk to her and she wants nothing to do with me except leave her alone. As far as school is concerned after we broke up the first time i have not been able to concentrate in school ive been two three colleges in three years and the only reason im still passing is because i cheat my way through. i left my town because i wanted to get away from her and i thought that would work so i went to a college in another state. I then left there to come home and try to be as close to her as possible now im stuck home hating every minute of it. I have no drive anymore. I dont want to learn i hate school i would leave home telling my mom i was going to school but i wouldnt go i would just drive around til it was time to come home.

IM struggling to even talk to people nowadays im silent most of the time. and i start to shake involuntary when talking to people even people that ive known for years it starting to scare me

THis past year has been very tough on me i go to a school where i have no friends. The friends i do still have i dont want see them I am a very self concious person also. I deal with acne problems and i hate the way i look. MY brothers also dealwith depression and has been suicidal before so i worry everyday about him, although i am depressed i do not want to go n ask my family for help because i need to be strong for my brother, i couldnt live without him in my life and him being happy is worth more than anything to me
Thats basically, my story. I feel selfish for even being depressed because i have so much n do so little with it. I no everything about my depression has to do with her not being in my life anymore. I cant see myself with anyone else, she was truly amazing, and the most beautiful girl in my eyes. I cant get over her n i dont no what to do anymore.

Hey dj34, you know education isnt for everyone, at least not by way of academic routes. Have you considered a job where you could learn whilst you work, an apprenticeship perhaps?
And yes, getting over your first love takes time, but it does happen. If you were to start seeing someone else, i bet you would get over her sooner. I did We have all been there. Hardly anyone lives happily ever after with their first crush, thats for stories and disney cartoons. Real life is a bit trickier im afraid, but has a way of working itself out in time.

hello, al
thank you for replying. I do have a job to try n pay for school but i hate it its one of the most physically emanding jobs and im a small person so it beats me down everyday i cant quit because i have school to pay back n my step father works there as well if i quit i will proly get kicked out of my house like my brother did. As far as getting over her its hard to find someone when i cant put myself out there. When i talk to people nowadays even starting with my brother now i freeze up n i start shaking its unoticeable to most people but its getting worse. i cant remember the last time i even had a conversation with a girl alone.

Hey dj34, if you don't like the way you look because of your acne you should go to the doctors they can prescribe you come medicine and creams that will stop this. I think every ones self conscious these days because of the media portraying how we should all look like models.

I hope you find a way to get over your ex-girlfriend. If your that nervous about talking to girls maybe you should start to build your confidence up like talk to girls on here and then just start talking to family friends that are girls and so on.

Hope this helps