I just want to stop...

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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sadandlonely
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:48 am

I just want to stop...

Postby sadandlonely » Tue Aug 07, 2012 8:20 am

I am 27 years old, a guy. I am stuck at executive position and all I want to do is just get drunk.

My boss just handed me a project, a very big project and I can't get it done, my colleagues don't really give me support.

I have a hard time coping and I feel as if nobody cares about me.

I have terrible anger management issues and none of my colleagues are talking to me.

I don't know what to do.

sadandlonely
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:48 am

Postby sadandlonely » Mon Aug 13, 2012 5:50 am

I feel terrible and empty inside.

My job; I am so sorry that I will not get my pay rise, will not get a promotion.

I feel like the world dosn't care about me.

I don't know what to do anymore.

At 27 years old, I am a complete failure.

I will be stuck forever like this, and I don't know what to do anymore.

TrustingInHimAlone
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:39 pm
Location: Nashua, NH

You aren't alone!!

Postby TrustingInHimAlone » Sat Aug 18, 2012 8:38 am

Hi sad,

It might seem that you are the only one in the world like that- but believe me, you are not alone!! Depression has a way of shrinking our world down to a tiny, dark, lonely hell, and we are the only ones in it.

But know this... depression lies! There are many of us like you, and we all inhabit our own personal versions of hell. Our pain is so great, there is no room for anything else in it.. we don't care about jobs, wives or husbands, children, hobbies... nothing! All we want is for the pain to stop. You aren't alone.

Do you believe in God? If so, pray.. every hour of every day. Beg Him for His mercy. Hold on as tight as you can, and even though you don't feel like it, trust in Him. No matter how bad your life is, and even if your depression is never resolved in this life, the day will come when depression is shattered, destroyed, and cast out forever. Believe in that, and have hope!

If you don't believe in God, give it serious thought. Considering the state you are in now, would you have anything to lose anyways? Look at the world around you, and everything in it, and ask yourself how all this could come into being by itself. Even if you can't pray for yourself, I will be praying for you :)

Al
Posts: 29
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:14 pm
Location: East Anglia, UK.

Postby Al » Tue Aug 21, 2012 6:47 pm

hi sadandlonely, hope you are feeling a bit better. Dunno about the god advice, i will leave that to others.
I walked out on my job a while back as i just couldn't take it anymore. Just got up, packed my stuff and walked out and didn't say a word to anyone. Was that or god knows what else, so i appreciate where you are coming from there. Good luck, and stick with it.

sadandlonely
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:48 am

Postby sadandlonely » Mon Aug 27, 2012 9:25 am

Dear AI and TrustinginHIm,

Thank you so much.

This is one of the best jobs I've ever had and yet, it is so hard, because I've placed so much in it.

I feel as if my colleagues and my family give me a hard time.

I hate myself, i hate the world, I hate everyone.

I just want to die.

I want to kill myself.

Sometimes, i sit at my desk and I listen to the crap I put up with, I just want to die.

I want to take a two-day holiday, blow away my money on good food and drinks, buy fancy clothes, wear fancy clothes, check into a nice hotel and then stuff myself full of sleeping pills, so that i'll never have to wake up again.

I keep thinking of doing that alot.

I can no longer deal with criticism, I hate ciriticism, I feel as if my soul is being torn apart.

I get drunk every single day.

I don;t know what to do anymore, I am a failure; everyone else is doing better than me.

I am nothing, my life is meaningless.

TrustingInHimAlone
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:39 pm
Location: Nashua, NH

Postby TrustingInHimAlone » Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:24 am

Hi sad,

Remember what I said... depression lies! The rational side of your mind has to know things are not really that bad. And it's the truth- things are not that bad. Life can be good again! I understand that it is one thing to know that, but it is extremely difficult to really believe it. But you must believe it.

If you can find a doctor and get on some effective meds, you will see that the darkness will lift. You need to look at it this way... right now you are fighting for your life. You need to do whatever it takes to get yourself well.

I've been where you are... many times. The only thing that kept me from carrying out a suicide was the possibility that i might screw it up and end up not only depressed but crippled as well!!

Just don't give up !!

goodwillhunting
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Aug 20, 2012 9:13 pm

I know the feeling

Postby goodwillhunting » Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:28 pm

Hi, I made promises to myself and then I would break them
I have stood in the parking lot and not remembered where I parked
I have found myself with a stack of papers I thought I completed only to see that I had not even put them into the computer
I went to therepy ( so hard to sit in the waiting room) and spke to someone and admitted all. I opened my mind to the suggestions and anti depressants.
I swallowed my pride and let go of some of my perceptions.
I am older than you and I think of the many years I wasted trying to handle it alone.
Put yourself first and let go of your assumptions. Take care.

mr_black
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:23 pm

Re: I just want to stop...

Postby mr_black » Tue Sep 04, 2012 2:36 am

sadandlonely wrote:I am 27 years old, a guy. I am stuck at executive position and all I want to do is just get drunk.

My boss just handed me a project, a very big project and I can't get it done, my colleagues don't really give me support.

I have a hard time coping and I feel as if nobody cares about me.


Drinking is a horrible coping mechanism. It may help to dull the pain for the moment but will no doubt end up causing you more problems than it alleviates, if it hasn't already. I'm sure going to work with a hangover doesn't make work any easier. It never made my day go better anyway, and I could go though a looong list of failures, tragedies, and trouble I can attribute to drinking. I gave it up over 15 years ago and don't even remember what I saw in it now.

I don't know how to solve your problems but if you stopped drinking it would be a big step in the right direction. It may help clear your mind and allow you to see what you need to do to make things better for yourself.

Ste
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 11:11 am
Location: Lancashire

Postby Ste » Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:20 am

Hey man, ste here from the UK. I agree with the phrase "Depression Lies".

It is designed to take the slight worries and concerns you have and blow them up to enormous proportions.

Think about your position. Is it a daunting fearsome situation, or is it a nice challenge just waiting for you to show your capabilities.

There's strength in all of us, don't feel like you want to end things because this is all you have, your life is your own and it's so full of possibilities and excitement. Try and feel as though your slowly building a brand new start, plan new things and smile.

There's always a bunch of people on here to turn to if you feel like you need to offload. :)

Jasmin
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2012 4:52 pm
Location: England

Postby Jasmin » Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:54 pm

You need to keep your self occupied.

Think to yourself 'what do I want to achieve by the end of my life' Give yourself reasons to live and think of the people who will miss you and what pain you will leave behind. Remember suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and once you kill your self theres no going back.

This is what helps me when I'm in the same frame of mind as you are now.

Hope this helps.

Ste
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 11:11 am
Location: Lancashire

Postby Ste » Thu Oct 18, 2012 3:26 am

Jasmin, couldn't have put it better :D


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