Depression Understood Forums

I want to start off by saying that in no way shape or form is my story the worst I've seen or heard but it all starts when I was born. My dad met my mom and well you know what happens next... When I was born my mother had a lot of problems and by the time I was a small toddler she already had her eldest son taken from her and she had my dad put in jail for kidnapping. He took me after she had some sort of mental break down and bit me (she litterally bit me. Who does that?!?) After my dad got out of prison he met my step mother but that was not the end of my problems. From the start me and my step mother had issues. She had a son from a pre-existing marriage that she spoiled and adored. She found it necessary to put me down, beat me, starve me, and neglect me. Don't get me wrong we had our good times but not as many as I wish we would have... Somedays were good and somedays were bariable but somedays were just horrible. My father was always at work trying to earn money that was already spent by Her. Their relationship went to Hell quickly and with him not being around I bore the punishment. I did my best to please her but she would just sneer and remind me of how much worse I was then her Logan & because of this I was forced to be strong for myself. I asked everyday, "God, why would you put me here? What did I do to deserve this??" But then I learned something else... you can't put your faith in God. You have to make things happen for yourself and you have to help yourself because somebody is not always going to be there. She would come into my room and see that she didn't like how I cleaned my room yell at me and throw everything into the floor and have me do it again. I remeber being up one night for the entire night because I refused to clean the mess she made. I didn't eat dinner that night or breakfast the next morning but that wasn't the only time. She worked at my school so there was no escape there either... I remeber nights of going hungry for nothing but I also remeber a babysitter who would wake me up at night and feed me when she knew I was hungry (thanks Brittany . I know you will never get to read this but you did A LOT for me) My so called "Mother" the only one I ever knew would starve me and then go to my Grandmother ( <3 who I live with now ) and tell her that something was really wrong with me cause I would steal and hide food underneath my bed. At a young age I had a seziure and it affected my memory and I would and still do forget things easily and when I did I was punished, I remeber one day calling my dad crying and asking him to save me and to come get me but the only thing he could tell me was to stay strong and to stay out of her way. That was also the start of many times she told me that she hated me and that she wished she never met me. To make it all worse her son bullied me, beat me up, broke my things, blamed things he did on me and got away with it all. Those nights I can remeber wanting to seriously die! Like I wanted to END my life at the age of 12!! The only attention and love I got was from my grandmother but She even controlled that. I wasn't aloud to sit on my grandmother's lap, give her hugs, or be in her presence for any amount of times because she "spoiled me to much"! I had to stand a corner and not talk for HOURS and everyone was helpless to save me. I transfered schools many times where I got to say good bye to friends I had made only days earlier. But I soon got out of that Hell. I got to go live with my grandma who showed me that there was something good in life but along the line complications came about to where I went to live with my Aunt who I don't even see as my Aunt. That woman is my mother and shes loved me better than any other woman other than my grandmother I have ever met. Her eldest daughter Brittany became my best friend. We are just alike and I honestly know in my heart I would DIE for THEM without a second thought. (Thanks guys <3 you more than you will ever know!!) Now I live with my Grandma again and I'm 16 and about to be a Junior in high school. I'm confident and hide the pain I've gone through in my life underneath a tough and mouthy exterior. I would say I'm popular and I have a lot of friends but none of them truly know me and what I've gone through and I like it that way. I'm not here for sympathy but I'm here to tell others who feel pain now and feel like its over for you that it gets better sooner or later so I wipe the tears from my face and turn off the sad music and return back to me, the happy go lucky, mouthy, hot-headed kid I've turned out to be. I no longer have depression and I'm perfectly happy without my birth mother (womb doner), step mother, and even God because I know whatever is coming in my life I can take because I'm tough and I know you are too! I don't regret a thing that has happened in my life and I even thank my stepmother and my mother (who I haven't spoken with in years) and most importantly my Nene (Aunt), Grandmother, Father, and Cousins because they made me who I am today!! It will get better, if you ever want to talk to someone who knows what your going through, message me and I will always reply! <3

- Chris a.k.a. NewKid-SamePlace[/u]