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I feel dead inside
Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 4:36 pm
by LunaCadwell
I'm 15, almost 16. I live in an apartment with the rest of my family (Me, my mother, my older sister, & my older brother). My father's - who is abroad right now - brother's family just came to stay with us. I mean I have nothing against it. But it's the fact that I barely had a say in anything when everyone was assigning rooms. I got my room taken away from me without my consent & since then I feel like my opinion isn't needed. I'm also the youngest & my sister mostly pushes all the work she's to lazy to do on me. The only person I can really relate to is my older brother (But sometimes we have our up & down) & I actually want to get my first job by next year. Good right? Well not for me. There's this form - Worker's Paper Application - that I'm supposed to fill out to gain my Working Papers. I need certain things & when I try to ask my mother for them, she said she's going to get it, but in the end forgets about it. I know she's busy (She's the only paying most of the bills), but I just need someone. Before my relatives came here, when I get home from school (Summer's on it's way...Yippee...), I'm met with silence. No one's ever home. I feel like I'm raising myself most of the time. I barely get to hang out with my friends because I'm always broke. When I ask my mom for money, she barely gives me anything. I understand that times are hard, but it just starts to get annoying.
Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 7:17 pm
by Fluttershy
I'd notify her beforehand about this (in case she might be upset by it), but perhaps you could write out a large reminder note and put it up in an easily visible place where she would see it? Like you can explain beforehand "getting X documents is very important to me, and I understand it is difficult to remember due to your being busy, so I would like to help".
Also volunteering to do any household chores that might distract her could also free up attention towards procuring the documents, and remembering the niceness of the deed would also be a mental reminder to get them.
Re: I feel dead inside
Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 7:27 pm
by St8arrow
LunaCadwell wrote:I'm 15, almost 16. I live in an apartment with the rest of my family (Me, my mother, my older sister, & my older brother). My father's - who is abroad right now - brother's family just came to stay with us. I mean I have nothing against it. But it's the fact that I barely had a say in anything when everyone was assigning rooms. I got my room taken away from me without my consent & since then I feel like my opinion isn't needed.
From St8arrow
You are right. Perhaps there was no other way to accomodate all of the new people coming into your home but you still deserved to hear how and why your mother made that decision.
From Luna
I'm also the youngest & my sister mostly pushes all the work she's to lazy to do on me.
From St8arrow
You need to stand up for yourself. Tell your sister you have had enough of her laziness and you will not do everything while she sits around and does whatever it is that she is doing.
From Luna
The only person I can really relate to is my older brother (But sometimes we have our up & down) & I actually want to get my first job by next year. Good right? Well not for me. There's this form - Worker's Paper Application - that I'm supposed to fill out to gain my Working Papers. I need certain things & when I try to ask my mother for them, she said she's going to get it, but in the end forgets about it. I know she's busy (She's the only paying most of the bills), but I just need someone.
From St8arrow
I am assuming that if you get this job that you will be paying some board to your Mom. If you tell her about your needs, (working papers) in this manner, it should motivate her to fill them out for you toute suite or immediately.
From Luna
Before my relatives came here, when I get home from school (Summer's on it's way...Yippee...), I'm met with silence. No one's ever home. I feel like I'm raising myself most of the time. I barely get to hang out with my friends because I'm always broke. When I ask my mom for money, she barely gives me anything. I understand that times are hard, but it just starts to get annoying.
Tell your Mother about your above feelings and tell her that when you get the job, you won't have to ask her for money. Let us know if things change for you. Even if they don't, the fact that you came up with the courage to talk about your feelings will help you to solve other problems in the future while they are still small, instead of waiting until they become so frustrating that you blow up in anger.
Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:34 pm
by LunaCadwell
Thanks for the advice!
I talked with my mother (She was willing to help me when she's free).
Now there's a new problem. My father is coming back this week & I have a feeling I'll be even depressed than how I am right now. Why you ask? I hold a grudge on my father, hating him for taking over my life & breaking a present I received from my brother - an 8gb Ipod Touch.
Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:54 am
by St8arrow
LunaCadwell wrote:Thanks for the advice!
I talked with my mother (She was willing to help me when she's free).
Now there's a new problem. My father is coming back this week & I have a feeling I'll be even depressed than how I am right now. Why you ask? I hold a grudge on my father, hating him for taking over my life & breaking a present I received from my brother - an 8gb Ipod Touch.
It is not impossible that your father broke your new Ipod on purpose. Wether it was on purpose or by accident, tell him that you expect him to pay to get it fixed. When he refuses to do so, tell him to stay away from things that belong to you. Especially if he failed to ask you for permission to use your Ipod.
Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:04 pm
by LunaCadwell
Oh, he broke it on purpose. & even if I tell him to buy a new one (He literally broke it in half), he won't. & it's never my say to tell him to back away from my things. Because I'm a 'minor', they (my family) don't care what I say or ask them.
Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 6:38 pm
by St8arrow
LunaCadwell wrote:Oh, he broke it on purpose. & even if I tell him to buy a new one (He literally broke it in half), he won't. & it's never my say to tell him to back away from my things. Because I'm a 'minor', they (my family) don't care what I say or ask them.
Breaking your computer on purpose constitutes cruel and unusual punishment. I don't know the in's and out's of the law in your area but what you have described is a failure on the part of your father to provide a safe environment for you.
Tell a psychologist or counselor about this situation. Don't let them stall or pass it off to someone else. This is what they get paid for, helping people such as you. I hope you can get out of this poisonous family situation and into a situation where you are treated with the respect and dignity that you deserve.
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:34 am
by LunaCadwell
I guess. But I have a thing with speaking about my feelings. I say it from time to time, but majority of the time, I shrink down. Finding a counselor might be easy for me, but it's the payments & what not, which I might not have. That's why I'm here.