Life is a struggle

[Jemma]

I have never spoke about this not even to my partner so i have know idea why i am sitting here writing this thinking it will make a diffrence .
Been suffering from depression sinc i was 16 i'm now 24 . Every day is a struggle to deal with the anger tears sadness and confussion the depression brings . i also suffer from an illness called Hypermobility Syndrome which is also part of the depression problem .I have turned into a monster which i dont reconise anymore !. I show no affection and the only emotion i show is sadness . Its over taking my life and effecting my relationship with my partner my family and friends. I dont know what to do with myself anymore . I cant stand to look at myself in the mirror these days because all i see is this ugly person who has nothing to offer in life . My partner now thinks i dont love him or want him .That all i do is moan be unhappy and drag him down with me. The truth is i love him more than anything in the world and he makes me happy i just dont know how to show him i dont understand why i am the way i am so how can i expect him too . I get angry and confussed and seem to direct it at the ones i love .Am i the only person who feels this way ?

[Destination]

You are not alone here, there are lots of people who feel that way. Does your partner really understand your situation? Perhaps it would work if you talked with them about it in more detail? Maybe they would be more supportive and understanding.

[St8arrow]

--- I also suffer from an illness called Hypermobility Syndrome which is also part of the depression problem.

From St8arrow

Depression usually means that a person is reduced to doing next to nothing. Being Hyper mobile seems to be the opposite. I suppose if you went to the right kind of bio-psychiatrist, he or she would label you as being manic depressive.

In my opinion, your past experiences have reinforced the belief in you that whatever you try to do will ultimately turn into a failure so why bother trying to begin with. This of course can be translated into a distorted fear of failure.

Keep submitting messages into this site, there are plenty of people here who can help you with these kind of problems. Let's hope that you and others also will gain new insights into this phenomena and that all of us will be better for it in the not too distant future.

Cheers to you.