Depression Understood Forums

I know this is sooo stupid but I'm still dealing with this. Last Wedensday I finally got the courage to ask this girl I had a crush on out. I actually had to chase her down because she left class before me and I caught up to her to get to talk to her. I finally got to ask her out but she blew me off and I was crushed lol. I know this sounds so pathetic even for me now. But I was really just devastated. So I've really tried standing back and seeing if I'm actually what everyone else thinks I am. I have tried to lose more weight I have cut my hair I wear new more fitting clothes. Hell I've even tried changing how i walk and even if I can change the way I talk and how I conduct myself. I feel like I'm really a monster because I believe I have no way chance with anyone and I guess I am because with how tall I am and how ugly I am. So now I feel like I should give up because I don't even want to try anymore and I just want to die basically. I know you could say this is just one of my spiral downs. But I've felt like this for an entire week and that has never been this long. yeah I don't know what to say anymore I just want to give up

(((((((( Ryan ))))))))))
You are not a monster at all! Please do not attempt to change who you really are only to impress others, it's not worth it. If you want to make changes in yourself, be sure these changes are being made FOR you, not others. Do not obsess with your outward appearance, there is nothing wrong with it, and what is on the inside is so much more important. Take Care!