Depression Understood Forums

I feel like this is the second place where I need to go to after the introduction.

Currently, I am dealing with great feelings of total and utter uselessness. I have no one to talk to, I haven't spoken to human beings in days, and I'm afraid to seek professional help because I don't want medication, maybe all I need is just some motivation.

Uselessness.. that feeling I have in the morning and I realize that the sole purpose I have on this Earth is to breathe its oxygen. I have often wondered why am I wasting money that could help people with a purpose and with something to contribute to the society?

I've been trying to repress my suicidal thoughts for a great while now, but they keep coming back and I've lost all the little strength I had left in me to fight them. And I know that this is not right, which is why I am here. Writing words, seeking for help, trying to reach out to people who have the same feelings as I do.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so down right now and that you even mentioned suicide. Such a decision would be tragic beyond words. Remember there are many other choices you can make -- choices that could potentially turn things around in a positive direction. No situation is hopeless. I know it's not easy to reach out for help – glad you felt like you could share here. It sounds like the thought of seeking professional help is a little scary to you – understandably so when you're not sure what to expect – but I wouldn't completely rule that out. Talking with someone who can help you sort out your feelings and see things more clearly could be more helpful than you think. If you don’t know where to start, Focus on the Family has counselors who will talk with you over the phone for free. Their number is 855-771-HELP (4357). In my time working with this organization, I've found that they've been able to encourage many others who are going through the same kinds of struggles that you are. There's a book I wanted to mention that might be worth checking out - Self Talk, Soul Talk: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by Jennifer Rothschild. I wish there was just one thing I could say to convince you that your life is of great worth - you probably don't feel it right now, but I believe God loves you and is able to walk with you through this difficult time. Take care, and keep posting. Praying for you..

horizons wrote:I feel like this is the second place where I need to go to after the introduction.

Currently, I am dealing with great feelings of total and utter uselessness. I have no one to talk to, I haven't spoken to human beings in days, and I'm afraid to seek professional help because I don't want medication, maybe all I need is just some motivation.

From St8arrow

That is a good description of some of your problems. It is not necessarily wrong to not want to use medication. However, if you cannot reduce the level of stress that you are now feeling in the near future, maybe, just maybe, the short term use of an SSRI might prove useful.

Especially if, while you are experiencing the calming effect that those kind of drugs have the potential to provide, you also receive some help with the psychological problems that you have listed so clearly.

From horizons

Uselessness.. that feeling I have in the morning and I realize that the sole purpose I have on this Earth is to breathe its oxygen. I have often wondered why am I wasting money that could help people with a purpose and with something to contribute to the society?

From St8arrow

Well those kind of thoughts in your last sentence, show that you certainly have a great level of empathy for your fellow travelers through life, but at the same time, you are one of those travelers and you deserve to receive the same level of empathy for yourself that you are assigning to others.

You have a very important purpose and you are displaying the courage that is necessary to come in here and ask for help. If those of us who are here on this site can help you, and I believe that we can; in the future you will be motivated to help others because you will be able to tell them that --- "I've been there myself. I know what you are going through."

From horizons

I've been trying to repress my suicidal thoughts for a great while now, but they keep coming back and I've lost all the little strength I had left in me to fight them. And I know that this is not right, which is why I am here. Writing words, seeking for help, trying to reach out to people who have the same feelings as I do.

Well the "little strength" that you had left in you is not as "little" as you might have thought it was. The proof of that statement is the simple fact that your "little strength" has brought you to this site. Welcome aboard. Just knowing that you are not alone will be of immense help to you but that alone is not enough.

Other help with your problems must occur also. Give us a chance and give yourself some time. I know that advice is hard to accept about giving yourself some time when you are feeling so anxious, but hang on tight to life. It's the best game in town and once again welcome to "our" town.

Dear horizons - I know exactly where you are, because I was there some years ago. I attempted suicide, but was found & hauled off to the hospital in time.
When the shrinks talked to me afterwards, I saw my fears and concerns were really petty and inconsequential - very much societally-based, but of little concern when it comes to living one's life. I had totally blown them out of proportion.
Since then I've mostly done well. One extreme bout of depression finally drove me to medication, and what a great thing that has been! After talk therapy, acupuncture, Chinese herbals - yeah, I really resisted meds. But when I began them - in a TINY dose - it was like a black cloud lifted off. I asked my shrink, "Do people really feel this way? Happy?" And he nodded yes. I was stunned - I'd never felt like that in my whole life!
So, dear Horizons, go see a prescribing psychiatrist. It may take a few tries to find the one that's right for you, but when you do and that black cloud lifts off.... you'll be amazed how it extends your horizons.

I am sure nigalloway means well and medication has provided some excellent help for her but there are other things to take into account also. To a certain extent, there is a placebo effect from taking medication. In effect, it goes something like this. "This brilliant Doctor says I need medication to cope successfully in my journey through life. I'm going to do what he tells me to do." But with the right kind of Behavioral Therapy a person can achieve an even better level of success than that which is offered by medication.

I have read that some of these medications mask the valuable pain that happens when some part of our body is not functioning properly. The outcome of this scenario is that some people did not react to the pain in their abdomen, as an example, and ended up perforating their appendix and risking death rather than the relatively normal removal of the appendix if the pains are reported early enough. If you want a more detailed analyses of the side effects of these drugs take a look at the books written by Dr. Joseph Glenmullen or Dr. Peter R. Breggin. I will try to get the exact title of the books I am referring to and post them in this site later today if I can find the time to do so.


Finally a personal story from long ago. My first wife died 34 years ago. My daughter was 14 yrs old at that time. When she visited our Doctor, without telling Cindy what he was doing, as Cindy was talking he was writing up a prescription for a sedative. Cindy said: "I don't need a sedative, all I need is more time with my father." If you want to decide that I am bragging so be it. All I can tell you is the above truth. It obviously is your decision what you do.

Here are the names of some of the books that I have read on this subject.

Anti depressant solution by Joseph Glenmullen,

Toxic Psychiatry by Peter R. Breggin

Talking Back To Prozac by Peter R. Breggin

A scathing denunciation of the current methods of psychiatry by Carol Turkington, in her book called, Making the Prozac Decision.

And the following words from the book called, Beyond Prozac by Dr. Micheal J. Norden

"Bio-Psychiatrists have shown that people who are considered to be mentally ill or are suffering from acute stress disorders, do not have enough of the chemical serotonin in their brain metabolism. Prozac and other Selective Serotonin Uptake Inhibitors have the capacity to increase the level of serotonin in the brain."

Although this would appear to validate the biological definition of mental illness, further examination is required. Dr. Michael J. Norden, M.D., has authored an important book called, “Beyond Prozac.” On page 176, the following quotation from Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz appears: --- "Psychological treatments clearly produce biological effects on the brain. My colleagues and I have recently shown that, similar to Prozac, a form of cognitive behavioral therapy is capable of correcting abnormalities in the brain metabolic rates of patients with obsessive compulsive behavior."

Giving someone a Selective Serotonin Uptake Inhibitor such as Prozac is similar to giving someone a fish for supper. Giving someone beneficial psychological therapy, which would have to include knowledge about conglomerated fear, is similar to teaching someone how to fish.

If I have left you with the impression that I would like to see the use of neuroleptic drugs for the treatment of mental illness --- and/or for alleviating stress, eliminated from further use, then I have misled you. Just as we now use anesthetics to temporarily block out pain during medical operations, so also will we use these neuroleptic drugs to temporarily block the emotional pain for those whose conglomerated fears have become too severe to handle in any other way.

On page 167 of the above mentioned book called, “Beyond Prozac“, we find the following quote by Milton Rokeach: --- "To say that a particular psychiatric condition is incurable or irreversible, is to say more about the state of our psychological ignorance, than about the state of the patients mental health."

If I have left you in a quandary as to how to proceed, then I have failed. Here is what I meant to say in a nutshell. Take medications on an interim basis if your Doctor thinks that it is appropriate. But by all means seek out psychological help also. I would highly recommend a Behavioral Therapist. One book about behavioral therapy impressed me deeply but unfortunately, not deep enough for me to retain the memory of the authors. The name of that book is --- The Resilience Factor.

Thanks for reading this rather long submission. In reality, I try to keep my messages short, but in this instance, I have not exactly kept to that achievement.

Cheers to all