Do you understand?

[silenttone]

So, I found this site, because i need some help. I was depressed ever since 5th grade (I am in 10th grade now) I started cutting in 8th grade.
I became depressed in 5th grade, because of bullying.
I started cutting because my friends mentioned it to each other.
I stopped for a while (beginning of 9th grade)when my parents found out, then this year, i started again.
I have thought recently, taking my own life was a big option...I just want to dissapear, forever.
But, I don't want to die. Just this pain, i want it to go away. I was ready to kill myself, through exphiciation(choking). I then thought about suicide hotline. But i couldn't call them. They scare me. I needed people who went through depression, like me. Who cut themselves because of the pain.
I just want a friend, someone who understands, i was in the chatrooms,but they seem not personal,fun, but not personal.

Can someone message me, I can't take this pain....

[dd-va]

Hi silenttone and welcome to the forums. Very brave of you to write your story like this, I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Please reconsider calling a hotline if you are thinking of taking your life. The people there are there to help you. Reaching out here is a great first step! I hope that you find others you can connect with here! Take Care!