Depression Understood Forums

I don't know where to start with this really. I've tried writing stuff down before.... my story etc etc. Then I wonder why I am writing and if there is any point? This time I will just write a brief outline of what has been going on in my life. I have had depression since childhood. Back then I didn't recognize it for what it was. My parents arranged for me to visit a child psychologist for a brief time. Things seemed to get worse for me as I went through my teens. I just seemed to get more and more unhappy. This continued but I don't recall asking the doctor for help until I was perhaps 21. Since then I have had a number of bad episodes, had counseling and briefly tried a few different medications. I can never bring myself to continue with medication and the counseling ended when I had to move away for work. I was supposed to keep in touch with my counsellor by telephone but found it difficult. Now I find myself working away from my partner who I see for maybe a day or two every two weeks. It is difficult. I am still depressed and the situation is increasingly making things worse. My partner is suffering too. She is also depressed and stressed out. Her health is already poor because of various medical issues and I am worried about her but feel helpless. We are stuck in a rut. Both miserable and getting nowhere. My job barely pays the bills and I am beginning to despise it as more and more demands are made of me by my employer. I am even working outwith my hours and not getting paid for it at times. I want to say something but don't want to risk rocking the boat as I struggled to find this job. I feel as though I am being crushed. I recognize my depression is getting out of hand once again but I don't know what to do about it. I am so tired. Every day seems to be worse than the one before. Once again I dread waking up each morning. I have been here before. I am sick repeating this cycle. Sorry, I don't mean to be so..... depressing lol.

Hi, Munk. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story with all of us. I am sorry that you have struggled for so long. The view that seems to be expressed most often here is that medication in combination with therapy can yield the best results. But, ( always a "but", I know) consistency and sticking with that program does help its success. It sounds as if you are extremely overwhelmed with work and personal issues. I hope your partner is able to find the support and help she needs as well.
We do have a chat room here, which is another resource for additional support and the exchange of information. I hope to hear more from you and encourage you to seek professional help so that you might get a reprieve from this cycle that you are currently experiencing. We are here, and I hope you continue to post and let us know how things are going. Take care.